herring-paunched, emaciated and pallid wretch, cropped and shaven,
clothed in pepper-and-salt ditto, and employed in crushing bones for
manure and soup. Thanks to Free Trade and the Diggings--among second
causes--this order of fellow Christians is now almost extinct. Our
continental neighbours will find, on inquiry, that a wholly different
appearance is for the most part presented by the remaining objects of
British charity. Coats, waistcoats, and trousers--in some cases gaiters
and breeches--of superfine black cloth, warm and comfortable to the
feeling, sleek and glossy to the sight, envelope with liberal amplitude
proportions which are plump, and perhaps corpulent. The nether
extremities are encased in capacious and shiny highlows, sometimes
silver-buckled. A goodly beaver hat with extensive brim shades the
entire man from the rays which tend to liquefy the oleaginous part of
him. This is the only badge of poverty that he bears about him; its form
is suggestive of an emblem of manual labour--the Shovel.

His dietary is open to no objection in regard either to quantity or
quality; except that, in both respects, it tends rather to produce
plethora and engender gout. It is, in fact, discretional; for even when
he enjoys an indoor maintenance, he receives a stipend in lieu of
rations, and this sum is usually handsome enough to enable him to
indulge in every delicacy of every season.

When he thus lives in the House--the Almshouse provided for him--he has
the whole of it to himself, and is required to share it with nobody
except his own family if he is blessed with one: so far, therefore, from
being separated from his wife in a comfortless ward, he occupies a
mansion which is the abode of domestic happiness.

His work is mostly as optional, conversely, as his victuals: so that he
can eat and drink as much, and exert himself as little as he likes. The
only employment obligatory upon him is light clerical duty, and the
greater part of that he is permitted to delegate to somebody else. He is
supposed, indeed, to be continually producing new editions of Greek
Testament, biblical or patristic commentaries, confutations of Popery,
apologies for Church-rates, and other works tending to the spiritual
welfare of the nation; to the due performance of which tasks a necessary
condition is learned leisure, accompanied by nutritious food and
generous liquor.

This walking monument of beneficence--walking when he does not ride in a