(Ink dries rather slowly, you know, under water),
Then signed it in haste
And sealed it with paste.

It was growing quite dark and he's no time to waste,
So he posted it slyly, without wasting more,
On the crest of a ripple that ran toward shore;
Then, shaking his scales in a satisfied glow,
All shining and shimmering, sank down below,
Where he soon fell asleep
In an oyster bed deep,
With the green sheets of water his slumber to keep.

_St. Nicholas._

THREE FISHERS.

Three fishers went strolling away to the stream,
To the babbling brook where the fishes swim.
Of speckled beauties they all did dream,
And each felt certain they'd bite for him.
For men will tramp from morning till night,
And suffer the fierce mosquito's bite,
And drink to stop their groaning.

Three fishers strolled into the market-place,
'Twas some two hours after the sun went down,
And a look of gloom was on each man's face,
For at empty baskets they each did frown,
For men may fish, but may get no bite,
And tired and hungry go home at night,
And vent their wrath in groaning.

Three fishers strolled into the beer saloon,
Where the crowd sat round and the gas was bright,
And each gaily whistled a merry tune,
And showed his fish with assumed delight,
For men will fish, yea, and men will lie,
And boast of catching the fish they buy,
While inwardly they're groaning.

BULLS IN PARLIAMENT.

Some of the Mixed Metaphors Perpetrated in the English House of Commons
Have Afforded Amusement for the Entire World.

For many years there has been an impression that the linguistic bull is a
distinctively Irish animal. The fame of Paddy Bull is world-wide, but the
fact is he often is compelled to answer for the sins of his neighbor,
Johnnie Bull, who, as a perpetrator of mixed metaphors, is without a peer.

In no deliberative body in the world is the mixed metaphor so much in its
element as in the British House of Commons. As examples of its activity in
that institution, London _Tit-Bits_ submits the following list:

"Sir, we are told that by this legislation the heart of the
country has been shaken to its very foundations."

"Among the many jarring notes heard in this House on
military affairs, this subject at least must be regarded as
an oasis."

"The interests