ician told me that he knew a deaf and dumb child whose hearing was
restored by it (in Berlin), and likewise a man who had been deaf for seven
years, and recovered his hearing. I am told that your friend Schmidt is at
this moment making experiments on the subject.

I am now leading a somewhat more agreeable life, as of late I have been
associating more with other people. You could scarcely believe what a sad
and dreary life mine has been for the last two years; my defective hearing
everywhere pursuing me like a spectre, making me fly from every one, and
appear a misanthrope; and yet no one is in reality less so! This change has
been wrought by a lovely fascinating girl [undoubtedly Giulietta], who
loves me and whom I love. I have once more had some blissful moments during
the last two years, and it is the first time I ever felt that marriage
could make me happy. Unluckily, she is not in my rank of life, and indeed
at this moment I can marry no one; I must first bestir myself actively in
the world. Had it not been for my deafness, I would have travelled half
round the globe ere now, and this I must still do. For me there is no
pleasure so great as to promote and to pursue my art.

Do not suppose that I could be happy with you. What indeed could make me
happier? Your very solicitude would distress me; I should read your
compassion every moment in your countenance, which would make me only still
more unhappy. What were my thoughts amid the glorious scenery of my
father-land? The hope alone of a happier future, which would have been mine
but for this affliction! Oh! I could span the world were I only free from
this! I feel that my youth is only now commencing. Have I not always been
an infirm creature? For some time past my bodily strength has been
increasing, and it is the same with my mental powers. I feel, though I
cannot describe it, that I daily approach the object I have in view, in
which alone can your Beethoven live. No rest for him!--I know of none but
in sleep, and I do grudge being obliged to sacrifice more time to it than
formerly.[1] Were I only half cured of my malady, then I would come to you,
and, as a more perfect and mature man, renew our old friendship.

You should then see me as happy as I am ever destined to be here below--not
unhappy. No! that I could not endure; I will boldly meet my fate, never
shall it succeed in crushing me. Oh! it is so glorious to live one's life a
thousand times over! I feel that