from you, my dear, on the subject.

I hope that in my next letter I shall have reason to confirm these
favourable appearances. Favourable I must think them in the wreck I have
suffered.

I hope, that in the trial which you hint may happen between me and
myself, (as you* express it,) if he should so behave as to oblige me to
leave him, I shall be able to act in such a manner as to bring no
discredit upon myself in your eye; and that is all now that I have to
wish for. But, if I value him so much as you are pleased to suppose I
do, the trial, which you imagine will be so difficult to me, will not, I
conceive, be upon getting from him, when the means to affect my escape
are lent me; but how I shall behave when got from him; and if, like the
Israelites of old, I shall be so weak as to wish to return to my Egyptian
bondage.

* See Letter XXXIV. of this volume.

I think it will not be amiss, notwithstanding the present favourable
appearances, that you should perfect the scheme (whatever it be) which
you tell me* you have thought of, in order to procure for me an asylum,
in case of necessity. Mr. Lovelace is certainly a deep and dangerous
man; and it is therefore but prudence to be watchful, and to be provided
against the worst. Lord bless me, my dear, how I am reduced!--Could I
ever have thought to be in such a situation, as to be obliged to stay
with a man, of whose honour by me I could have but the shadow of a doubt!
--But I will look forward, and hope the best.

* Ibid.

I am certain that your letters are safe. Be perfectly easy, therefore,
on that head.

Mr. Lovelace will never be out of my company by his good will, otherwise
I have no doubt that I am mistress of my goings-out and comings-in; and
did I think it needful, and were I not afraid of my brother and Captain
Singleton, I would oftener put it to trial.

LETTER XLII

MISS HOWE, TO MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE
SATURDAY, MAY 20.

I did not know, my dear, that you deferred giving an answer to Mr.
Lovelace's proposals till you had my opinion of them. A particular hand,
occasionally going to town, will leave this at Wilson's, that no delay
may be made on that account.

I never had any doubt of the man's justice and generosity in matters of
settlement; and all his relations are as noble in their spirits as in
their descent; but now, it may not be amiss for you to wait, to see what
returns my Lord makes to his letter of invitation.

The schem