ight on going over, out of all their ways, to the kind writer of the
instructive letter, and on making a father (a protector, as well as a
friend) of a kinsman, who is one of my trustees. This, circumstanced as
I was, would have been a natural, at least an unexceptionable protection!
--But I was to be unhappy! and how it cuts me to the heart to think, that
I can already subscribe to my cousin's character of a libertine, so well
drawn in the letter which I suppose you now to have read!

That a man of a character which ever was my abhorrence should fall to my
lot!--But, depending on my own strength; having no reason to apprehend
danger from headstrong and disgraceful impulses; I too little perhaps
cast up my eyes to the Supreme Director: in whom, mistrusting myself, I
ought to have placed my whole confidence--and the more, when I saw myself
so perserveringly addressed by a man of this character.

Inexperience and presumption, with the help of a brother and sister who
have low ends to answer in my disgrace, have been my ruin!--A hard word,
my dear! but I repeat it upon deliberation: since, let the best happen
which now can happen, my reputation is destroyed; a rake is my portion:
and what that portion is my cousin Morden's letter has acquainted you.

Pray keep it by you till called for. I saw it not myself (having not the
heart to inspect my trunks) till this morning. I would not for the world
this man should see it; because it might occasion mischief between the
most violent spirit, and the most settled brave one in the world, as my
cousin's is said to be.

This letter was enclosed (opened) in a blank cover. Scorn and detest me
as they will, I wonder that one line was not sent with it--were it but to
have more particularly pointed the design of it, in the same generous
spirit that sent me the spira.

The sealing of the cover was with black wax. I hope there is no new
occasion in the family to give reason for black wax. But if there were,
it would, to be sure, have been mentioned, and laid at my door--perhaps
too justly!

I had begun a letter to my cousin; but laid it by, because of the
uncertainty of my situation, and expecting every day for several days
past to be at a greater certainty. You bid me write to him some time
ago, you know. Then it was I began it: for I have great pleasure in
obeying you in all I may. So I ought to have; for you are the only
friend left me. And, moreover, you generally honour m