a speedy return. If it could only
be!...

This morning the boom of Yankee guns reached my ears; a sound I had
hoped never to hear again. It is only those poor devils (I can afford
to pity them in their fallen state) banging away at some treasonable
sugar-houses that are disobedient enough to grind cane on the other
side of the river. I hear that one is at Mrs. Cain's. The sound made my
heart throb. What if the fight should come off before I can walk? It
takes three people to raise me whenever it is necessary for me to move;
I am worse than helpless.

Tuesday, November 18th.

A note just came from mother, telling me that the most awful Yankees
were coming to burn Linwood and take Port Hudson, and so this evening I
must walk down to the cars with a chair to rest in until they came, and
must certainly be in Clinton to-night. Delightful arrangement! I wrote
to ask if she knew that my legs were of no more service to me than to
her? Dr. Dortch has again been murdering me ... says perhaps I can
stand by Sunday. If the Yankees come before--

Friday night, November 21st.

Lying on my face, as it were, with my poor elbows for a support, I try
to pass away these lonely hours. For with the exception of old Mrs.
Carter, who is downstairs, and the General, who is elsewhere, Anna and
I are the only white people on the place. The cause of this heartless
desertion is a grand display of _tableaux vivants_ at Jackson, for
the benefit of the Soldiers' Hospital, and of course it would be sinful
to stay away, particularly as Anna is a great deal better, and I need
no care....

Thursday, December 4th.[14]

It would be only the absurd tableaux I agreed to, with plenty of fun,
and nothing more. So I tried to be merry and content, and so I should
have been, for there was plenty to talk about, and every one was so
solicitous for my comfort; and there was Mr. Enders who would wheel my
chair for me wherever I wished it, and was as kind and attentive as a
brother. Surely my first trip should have been a gay one! Miriam sat
down by the piano, Mr. Enders drew me by her, and we three sang until
dark together. A Mr. Morse, his wife, and mother, who are spending a
week here, were our audience. The first two retired at candle-light,
while the latter, present at the play the night before, remained to the
last. But while w