, "and
that is that she deserves to recover; for a better little sister never
lived." God bless him! My eyes grew right moist over those few words.
Loving words bring tears to them sooner than angry ones. Would he
object to such a step when he knows that the very medicines necessary
for my recovery are not to be procured in the whole country? Would he
rather have mother dead and me a cripple, in the Confederacy, than both
well, out of it? I feel that if we go we are wrong; but I am satisfied
that it is worse to stay. It is a distressing dilemma to be placed in,
as we are certain to be blamed whichever course we pursue. But I don't
want to go to New Orleans!

Before I had time to lay down my pen this evening, General Gardiner and
Major Wilson were announced; and I had to perform a hasty toilette
before being presentable. The first remark of the General was that my
face recalled many pleasant recollections; that he had known my family
very well, but that time was probably beyond my recollection; and he
went on talking about father and Lavinia, until I felt quite
comfortable, with this utter stranger.... I would prefer his speaking
of "our" recent success at Port Hudson to "my"; for we each, man,
woman, and child, feel that we share the glory of sinking the gunboats
and sending Banks back to Baton Rouge without venturing on an attack;
and it seemed odd to hear any one assume the responsibility of the
whole affair and say "my success" so unconsciously. But this may be the
privilege of generals. I am no judge, as this is the first Confederate
general I have had the pleasure of seeing. Wish it had been old
Stonewall! I grow enthusiastic every time I think of the dear old
fellow!

I am indebted to General Gardiner for a great piece of kindness,
though. I was telling him of how many enemies he had made among the
ladies by his strict regulations that now rendered it almost impossible
for the gentlemen to obtain permission to call on them, when he told me
if I would signify to my friends to mention when they applied that
their visit was to be here, and not elsewhere, that he would answer for
their having a pass whenever they called for one. _Merci du compliment;
mais c'est trop tard, Monsieur!_

Tuesday, April 7th.

I believe that it is _for true_ that we are to leave for New Orleans,
via Clinton and Ponchatoula, this evening. Clinton, at least, I am sure
of. Lilly came down