or officers or his business. And that last night
at Linwood, when he absented himself without leave, why could he not
have signified to him, his Captain, that he wished to say good-bye,
instead of quietly doing as he pleased? When the Colonel sent for a
report of the number of men, quantity of forage and ammunition, etc.,
and it was discovered that John Halsey was absent without leave, with
the books locked up and the keys in his pocket--even after this lapse
of time, the fire flashed through the ice as the Captain spoke.
Sergeant Halsey, I am sorry for you when you reported yourself next
day! All the fun that could have been crowded into an evening at
Linwood could not have repaid you for the morning's scene. And after
all, what was it beyond very empty pleasure, with a great deal of
laughter? He could have dispensed with it just as well. Looking back, I
congratulate myself on being the only one who did not ask him to stay.

5th.

Not dead! not dead! O my God! Gibbes is _not_ dead! Where--O dear God!
Another?

Only a few days ago came a letter so cheerful and hopeful--we have
waited and prayed so patiently--at my feet lies one from Colonel
Steadman saying he is dead. Dead! Suddenly and without a moment's
warning summoned to God! No! it cannot be! I am mad! O God, have mercy
on us! My poor mother! And Lydia! Lydia! God comfort you! My brain
seems afire. Am I mad? Not yet! God would not take him yet! He will
come again! Hush, God is good! Not dead! not dead!

O Gibbes, come back to us!

11th.

O God, O God, have mercy on us! George is dead! Both in a week. George,
our sole hope--our sole dependence.

March.

Dead! Dead! Both dead! O my brothers! What have we lived for except
you? We, who would have so gladly laid down our lives for yours, are
left desolate to mourn over all we loved and hoped for, weak and
helpless; while you, so strong, noble, and brave, have gone before us
without a murmur. God knows best. But it is hard--O so hard! to give
them up....

If we had had any warning or preparation, this would not have been so
unspeakably awful. But to shut one's eyes to all dangers and risks, and
drown every rising fear with "God will send them back; I will not doubt
His mercy," and then suddenly to learn that your faith has