ening wore on, when
we laughed loudest I could not help but think of poor little Mrs.
McPhaul sitting alone and crying over her brother's departure, fancying
his precious bones lying on the damp ground with only the soldier's
roof--the blue vault of heaven--above, while two miles away he sat in a
comfortable parlor amusing himself.

About sunrise, while the most delightful dreams floated through my
brain, a little voice roused me exclaiming, "Sady! Sady! John Hawsey
say so! Say give Sady!" I opened my eyes to see little Gibbes standing
by me, trying to lay some flowers on my cheek, his little face
sparkling with delight at his own importance. A half-opened rosebud
with the faintest blush of pink on its creamy leaves--a pink, and a
piece of arbor vitae, all sprinkled with dew, this was my bouquet. The
servant explained that Mr. Halsey had just left, and sent me that with
his last good-bye. And he has gone! "And now there's nothing left but
weeping! His face I ne'er shall see, and naught is left to me,
save"--putting away my book and all recollections of nonsense. So here
goes!

Tuesday, March 31st.

"To be, or not to be; that's the question." Whether 'tis nobler in the
Confederacy to suffer the pangs of unappeasable hunger and never-ending
trouble, or to take passage to a Yankee port, and there remaining, end
them. Which is best? I am so near daft that I cannot pretend to say; I
only know that I shudder at the thought of going to New Orleans, and
that my heart fails me when I think of the probable consequence to
mother if I allow a mere outward sign of patriotism to overbalance what
should be my first consideration--her health. For Clinton is growing no
better rapidly. To be hungry is there an everyday occurrence. For ten
days, mother writes, they have lived off just hominy enough to keep
their bodies and souls from parting, without being able to procure
another article--not even a potato. Mother is not in a condition to
stand such privation; day by day she grows weaker on her new regimen; I
am satisfied that two months more of danger, difficulties,
perplexities, and starvation will lay her in her grave. The latter
alone is enough to put a speedy end to her days. Lilly has been obliged
to put her children to bed to make them forget they were supperless,
and when she followed their example, could not sleep herself, for very
hunger.

We have tried in vain to find anothe