at
Victoria Villa: for an irregular dustman has chalked the post, and the
Postman vowed to mark Mr. Brown; the Turncock is turned off; the Waits
have to "wait a little longer;" and the Beadle, who declared Mr. Brown
no generous churchwarden, has, withal, found enough alcohol to make him
stupid before night--causing that dignitary to cry a lost boy instead of
a girl, and to see twice as many posts round St. Stiff's as usual;
taking half of them to be boys about to vault over the other half,
he rushes on to disperse them, soundly chastising the granite.

[Illustration]

All the little boys secure their mites before mid-day; taking their
posts at the gallery-door of a popular theatre, five hours before
opening, to practise that rare virtue, patience, at the shrine of "Hot
Codlings," and "George Barnwell."

[Illustration: BOXING DAY.
AN OFFENDED DIGNITARY OF THE CHURCH.
'BOLISH THE BOXES, INDEED: 'SPECT NEXT THEY'L 'BOLISH THE BISHOPS.--
WHAT'S A SEASON WITHOUT COMPLIMENTS?]

Master Ichabod Strap, in his richest yellow breeches, and burnished
badge of St. Stiff the Martyr, is perambulating the parish with his gay
phylactery, or Christmas-piece--"The History of Joseph," painted, like
the coat, in many colours:--he shows it to Mrs. Brown, who approves the
performance; "stroking the head of modest and ingenuous worth that
blushed at its own praise;" measuring the boy at a glance, and
proffering him promotion in the shape of an uniform, of buttons, just
vacated by a youth--called by his peers "Nobby Jones," but by his
mistress "Alphonso;"--who, having grown to the great risk of buttons and
stitches, was dispossessed of his regimentals, being sent home one dark
night in his bed-gown. "Ichabod" promises to resign that title and all
connection with the dirty boys, to reign as Alphonso the second page;
being missed by Mr. Spohf, for whom he used to blow the organ, in the
little second floor--a bereavement Mrs. B. enjoyed, saying, she wondered
how the unworthy little animal would raise the wind now.

There is an universal adage about risking sprats to capture
herrings--a sport not unknown to our cosmopolite Captain, for he had
fished in troubled waters, and hunted for a dinner many a time;--he knew
the traps and snares to secure game, the days and seasons; so, on
Boxing-day, he baits the servants with crowns; Tommy with a sovereign;
Angelina with "The Keepsake;" Jemima with a modern-ancient missal, or
portion of Sc