doesn't seem to get us much further," she complained, "in
deciding which of those houses we're going to take."

"Oh, doesn't it?" I said, and, sitting down, I wrote a few lines rapidly
and handed her the draft for approval. She approved.

And that is why, if you look at _The Times'_ "Domestic Situations" column
to-morrow, you may see the following announcement:--

HOUSE-PARLOURMAID WANTED, helpless couple, where gramophone kept; state
whether Hampstead, Chiswick or Shepherd's Bush preferred.

EVOE.

* * * * *

[Illustration: ANOTHER TURKISH CONCESSION.

TURKEY (_anxious to save the Peace Conference from embarrassment_).
"EUROPE! WITH ALL THY FAULTS I LOVE THEE STILL. IF THOU INSISTEST, I AM
PREPARED TO STAY WITH THEE, BAG AND BAGGAGE."]

* * * * *

[Illustration: "OH, YES, MADAM, BRITANNIA WILL SUIT YOU ADMIRABLY. AND WHAT
ABOUT THE GENTLEMAN?"

"OH, HE'S GOING IN HIS DINNER-JACKET, REPRESENTING ONE OF THE SMALLER
NATIONS."]

* * * * *

OUR INVINCIBLE NAVY.

ORDEAL BY WATER.

When the innermost recesses of the Admiralty archives yield their secrets
to the historian there will be some strange and stirring events to relate.
But however diligently the chroniclers may search amongst the accumulated
records at Whitehall there will still remain one outstanding performance,
one shining example of courage and endurance of which no trace can there be
found; for it was never officially known how Reginald McTaggart upheld the
honour of the White Ensign in the Gulf of Lyons.

Reginald does not in the ordinary way suffer from excess of modesty; indeed
he has been known to hint that on more than one occasion it was primarily
due to his efforts that the world was eventually made safe for democracy;
but of this his greatest exploit he will never speak without pressure, and
even then but diffidently.

When WILLIAM HOHENZOLLERN first cried "Havoc" and let slip the Prussian
Guard, Reginald was among the most unsophisticated of landsmen. He had
never in his life so much as heard a bo'sun's pipe and could scarcely
distinguish a battleship from a bathing-machine. But the blood of a
maritime ancestry ran hot in his veins, and, being too highly educated to
get on in the Army, he placed himself at the disposal of the Senior
Service, which embraced him gladly. Henceforth his career was one of
unbroken triumph.

Having taken a First