consisting of _draughts_ only--O'Brien finishes the
history of his life, in which the proverb of "the more the merrier" is
sadly disproved--_Shipping_ a new pair of boots causes the _unshipping_
of their owner--Walking home after a ball, O'Brien meets with an
accident.

The next morning I was on deck at seven bells, to see the hammocks
stowed, when I was witness to Mr Falcon, the first lieutenant, having
recourse to one of his remedies to cure a mizen-top-boy of smoking, a
practice to which he had a great aversion. He never interfered with the
men smoking in the galley, or chewing tobacco; but he prevented the
boys, that is, lads under twenty or there-abouts, from indulging in the
habit too early. The first lieutenant smelt the tobacco as the boy
passed him on the quarter-deck. "Why, Neill, you have been smoking,"
said the first lieutenant. "I thought you were aware that I did not
permit such lads as you to use tobacco."

"If you please, sir," replied the mizen-top-man, touching his hat, "I'se
got worms, and they say that smoking be good for them."

"Good for them!" said the first lieutenant; "yes, very good for them,
but very bad for you. Why, my good fellow, they'll thrive upon tobacco
until they grow as large as conger eels. Heat is what the worms are fond
of; but cold--cold will kill them. Now I'll cure you. Quarter-master,
come here. Walk this boy up and down the weather-gangway, and every time
you get forward abreast of the main-tack block, put his mouth to
windward, squeeze him sharp by the nape of the neck until he opens his
mouth wide, and there keep him and let the cold air blow down his
throat, while you count ten; then walk him aft, and when you are forward
again, proceed as before.--Cold kills worms, my poor boy, not tobacco--I
wonder that you are not dead by this time."

The quarter-master, who liked the joke, as did all the seamen, seized
hold of the lad, and as soon as they arrived forward, gave him such a
squeeze of the neck as to force him to open his mouth, if it were only
to cry with pain. The wind was very fresh, and blew into his mouth so
strong, that it actually whistled while he was forced to keep it open;
and thus, he was obliged to walk up and down, cooling his inside, for
nearly two hours, when the first lieutenant sent for him, and told him,
that he thought all the worms must be dead by that time; but if they
were not, the lad was not to apply his own remedies, but come to him for
anoth