t going to Gibraltar, or rather to the Barbary
coast, for bullocks. He became worse every day, and made his will,
leaving me all his effects on board, which I certainly deserved for the
kindness with which I had nursed him. Off Malta we fell in with a
xebeque, bound to Civita Vecchia, and the captain of the transport,
anxious to proceed, advised our going on board of her, as the wind was
light and contrary, and these Mediterranean vessels sailed better on a
wind than the transport. My master, who was now sinking fast, consented,
and we changed our ships. The next day he died, and a gale of wind came
on, which prevented us from gaining the port for several days, and the
body of his lordship not only became so offensive, but affected the
superstition of the Catholic sailors so much, that it was hove
overboard. None of the people could speak English, nor could I speak
Maltese; they had no idea who we were, and I had plenty of time for
cogitation. I had often thought what a fine thing it was to be a lord,
and as often wished that I had been born one. The wind was still against
us, when a merchant vessel ran down to us, that had left Civita Vecchia
for Gibraltar. I desired the captain of the xebeque to make a signal of
distress, or rather I did myself, and the vessel, which proved to be
English, bore down to us.

"I manned the boat to go on board, and the idea came into my head, that,
although they might refuse to take me, they would not refuse a lord. I
put on the midshipman's uniform belonging to his lordship (but then
certainly belonging to me), and went alongside of the merchant vessel; I
told them that I had left my ship for the benefit of my health, and
wanted a passage to Gibraltar, on my way home. My title, and immediate
acceptance of the terms demanded for my passage, was sufficient. My
property was brought from the xebeque; and, of course, as they could not
speak English, they could not contradict, even if they suspected. Here,
Mr Simple, I must acknowledge a slight flaw in my early history, which I
impart to you in confidence; or otherwise I should not have been able to
prove that I was correct in asserting that I had dined with your
grandfather. But the temptation was too strong, and I could not resist.
Think yourself, Mr Simple, after having served as a ship's boy clouted
here, kicked there, damned by one, and sent to hell by another--to find
myself treated with such respect and deference, and my lorded this and