in keeping me with her. My helpless condition
began to force itself on my attention; and I realised that if the abbess
were to die I was alone and without support in the world.

An unexpected event now drew me closer to Mademoiselle de Silly. Her
mother, having come to Rouen, took her home to Silly, and invited me to
accompany her. I accepted joyfully, and spent several months in the
solitary and melancholy old castle. The Marquis was extremely
economical, the Marquise very devout, and we saw few people. One visitor
from the neighborhood, however, attracted me strongly; and as he came
often and stayed long, my friend and I agreed that one of us had pleased
him. When he had declared his affection, and it was not for me, I
learned what jealousy is--a kind of horror like that of falling down
through a fathomless abyss.

During the next visit to Silly in the following year the son of the
house arrived, and at first kept very much to himself and to his books.
But having heard his sister and myself complaining of these unsociable
ways, he frankly confessed his fault and amended it, and from that day
we spent every hour together. His mind and his manner was infinitely
agreeable; and in my successive visits to Silly we formed a delightful
friendship which was never interrupted by more ardent feelings.

_Thrown on the World_

At length my dear abbess fell so dangerously ill that I saw I was about
to lose her; and I became desolately aware that I owed her all, and that
her death would not only leave me absolutely helpless, but would also
deprive me of my best friend. I never knew anyone else so abundant in
goodness, with so much sweetness, attention for others and forgetfulness
of self, nor with such exact regard for every duty. Her death came soon,
and it was evident that neither her sister nor I could remain at the
convent. Several generous helpers came forward with offers of support,
but in my uncertain position I judged it better to refuse them all. I
was resolved to suffer any misery and servitude rather than sacrifice my
independence, and only accepted a small loan sufficient to take me to
Paris.

I was soon in the great city, looking out for a situation as children's
governess; fortunately, I had a taste for that occupation, and imagined
that taste for it meant talent. I had a sister, in the household of the
Duchess de La Ferte, and found her very amiable and helpful. With her
assistance I went to board at a chea