Mo. 12th_. If I acknowledge my own state,
it is one cumbered with "many things." Alas!
amid them how little space is there for the love of
God! I have remembered the days when untold
and inexpressible experiences were mine; when a
child's tears and prayers were seen and heard before
the throne! The stragglings of grace and nature
have been great since then. I can look back to
years of struggles and deliverances, years of revoltings
and of mercies. It is like "threshing mountains"
to meddle with the strongholds of sin; but
mountains, I sometimes hope, will be made to "skip
like rams."

_10th Mo. 5th_. How long have I been like the
"merchantman seeking goodly pearls"! Ever since
reason dawned I have longed for a goodly pearl;
though dazzled and deceived by many an empty
trifle, I cannot plead as an excuse that I could not
find the pearl. I have seen it at times, and felt how
untold was the price, and thought I was ready to
sell all and buy it, sometimes believed that all was
sold; but why, ah, why was my pledge so often
redeemed? I have been indeed like a simple one,
who, having found a "pearl of great price," cast it
from him for an empty, unsatisfying show.

_1st Mo. 17th_, 1841. Very precious as have been
the privileges vouchsafed the last two days, I can
this morning speak of nothing as my present condition,
but the extreme of weakness and poverty. On
6th day evening R.B. addressed us in such a way
as proved to me that the Divine word is a discerner
of the thoughts and intents of the heart. The
chief purport was the necessity of a willingness to
learn daily of the great Teacher meekness and
lowliness and faithfulness in the occupation of the
talents intrusted; "for where much is given, much
will be required." Yesterday his parting "salutation
of brotherly love" was such as cannot be effaced
from my memory; and oh, I pray that it may not
from my heart. And now my prayer, my desire,
must be for a renewed dedication. The separation,
as R.B. said, from the right hand and the right eye
must be made: the sacrifice which is acceptable will
always cost something.

_3d Mo. 8th_. Oh, may I become altogether a babe
and a fool before myself, and, if it must be, before
others! God has been very graciously dealing with
me.

_3d Mo. 19th_. Words must be much more
guarded, as well as thoughts. This morning I am
comfor