MOZGOVOY. [Rising] Ladies and gentlemen! I must tell you this.... We are
going to have a great many toasts and speeches. Don't let's wait, but
begin at once. Ladies and gentlemen, the newly married!

[The band plays a flourish. Cheers. Glasses are touched. APLOMBOV and
DASHENKA kiss each other.]

YATS. Beautiful! Beautiful! I must say, ladies and gentlemen, giving
honour where it is due, that this room and the accommodation generally
are splendid! Excellent, wonderful! Only you know, there's one thing
we haven't got--electric light, if I may say so! Into every country
electric light has already been introduced, only Russia lags behind.

ZHIGALOV. [Meditatively] Electricity... h'm.... In my opinion electric
lighting is just a swindle.... They put a live coal in and think you
don't see them! No, if you want a light, then you don't take a coal, but
something real, something special, that you can get hold of! You must
have a fire, you understand, which is natural, not just an invention!

YATS. If you'd ever seen an electric battery, and how it's made up,
you'd think differently.

ZHIGALOV. Don't want to see one. It's a swindle, a fraud on the
public.... They want to squeeze our last breath out of us.... We know
then, these... And, young man, instead of defending a swindle, you would
be much better occupied if you had another yourself and poured out some
for other people--yes!

APLOMBOV. I entirely agree with you, papa. Why start a learned
discussion? I myself have no objection to talking about every possible
scientific discovery, but this isn't the time for all that! [To
DASHENKA] What do you think, _ma chere_?

DASHENKA. They want to show how educated they are, and so they always
talk about things we can't understand.

NASTASYA TIMOFEYEVNA. Thank God, we've lived our time without being
educated, and here we are marrying off our third daughter to an honest
man. And if you think we're uneducated, then what do you want to come
here for? Go to your educated friends!

YATS. I, Nastasya Timofeyevna, have always held your family in respect,
and if I did start talking about electric lighting it doesn't mean that
I'm proud. I'll drink, to show you. I have always sincerely wished Daria
Evdokimovna a good husband. In these days, Nastasya Timofeyevna, it is
difficult to find a good husband. Nowadays everybody is on the look-out
for a marriage where there is profit, money....

APLOMBOV. That's a hint!

YATS. [His courage f