progress of the reading--as did also the
disagreeable impression which it made upon his audience,--until it
reached the highest pitch of excitement.
Here is the article.
MY NECESSARY EXPLANATION.
"Apres moi le deluge.
"Yesterday morning the prince came to see me. Among other things he
asked me to come down to his villa. I knew he would come and persuade
me to this step, and that he would adduce the argument that it would be
easier for me to die' among people and green trees,'--as he expressed
it. But today he did not say 'die,' he said 'live.' It is pretty much
the same to me, in my position, which he says. When I asked him why he
made such a point of his 'green trees,' he told me, to my astonishment,
that he had heard that last time I was in Pavlofsk I had said that I had
come 'to have a last look at the trees.'
"When I observed that it was all the same whether one died among trees
or in front of a blank brick wall, as here, and that it was not worth
making any fuss over a fortnight, he agreed at once. But he insisted
that the good air at Pavlofsk and the greenness would certainly cause a
physical change for the better, and that my excitement, and my DREAMS,
would be perhaps relieved. I remarked to him, with a smile, that he
spoke like a materialist, and he answered that he had always been one.
As he never tells a lie, there must be something in his words. His smile
is a pleasant one. I have had a good look at him. I don't know whether
I like him or not; and I have no time to waste over the question. The
hatred which I felt for him for five months has become considerably
modified, I may say, during the last month. Who knows, perhaps I am
going to Pavlofsk on purpose to see him! But why do I leave my chamber?
Those who are sentenced to death should not leave their cells. If I
had not formed a final resolve, but had decided to wait until the last
minute, I should not leave my room, or accept his invitation to come
and die at Pavlofsk. I must be quick and finish this explanation before
tomorrow. I shall have no time to read it over and correct it, for I
must read it tomorrow to the prince and two or three witnesses whom I
shall probably find there.
"As it will be absolutely true, without a touch of falsehood, I am
curious to see what impression it will make upon me myself at the moment
when I read it out. This is my 'last and solemn'--but why need I call
it that? There is no question about the truth of it, f
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