"Bedad I _do_, yer honor; I'm not a mole nor a bat, yer honor."

"Very well, Mr. Maloney. Now, Mr. Maloney, did you see _that_ man strike
_this_ man?"

"I _did_, yer honor, and knock him flat. Faix! but 'twas a big blow! 'Twas
like the kick ov a horse!"

"Your question is answered, Mr. Counsel," said the magistrate, "and your
testimony is now in."

Dryden's lesson, that "it needs all we know to make things _plain_," is
somewhat illustrated by this actual occurrence.

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Many a disciple of Lavater and of Spurzheim will tell you that physiology
and phrenology are each, and of themselves, infallible tests of character.
But, as Robert Burns sings:

"The best-laid schemes of mice and men
Gang aft aglee:"

a fact which was very humorously illustrated at the recent trial of the
Michigan railroad conspirators. A man entered the crowded court-room one
day, during the progress of the long-protracted trial, and looking eagerly
around, asked of a by-stander which were the prisoners? A wag, without
moving a muscle, pointed to the jury-box, and said.

"_There_ they are, in that box!"

"I _thought_ so!" said the inquirer, in a whisper. "What a set of
gallows-looking wretches they are! If there's any thing in physiology and
phrenology, they _deserve_ hanging, any how!"

The jury were all "picked men" of that region!

-------------------------------------

It is a good many years ago now, since we laughed a good hour by
"Shrewsbury Clock" at the following description, by the hero of a native
romance bearing his name, of the manner and bearing of New York Dry Goods
"Drummers." The scene succeeds the history of the hero's first
acquaintance with a "drummer;" who, mistaking him for a country "dealer,"
had given him his card on board of a steamboat, taken him to his hotel in
town, sent him his wine, given him tickets to the theatre, and requested
him to call at his store in Hanover-square, where it was his intention to
turn these courtesies to profitable account. On a bright pleasant morning,
accordingly, our hero visits the store, where Mr. Lummocks, the drummer,
receives him with open arms, and introduces him to his employer. But we
will now let him tell the story in his own words; and DICKENS has seldom
excelled the picture:

"He shook me heartily by the hand, and said he was really delighted to see
me. He asked me how the times were, and