ling witness."]

If the witness is so fortunate as to escape the foregoing species of
counsel, he may fall into the hands of _another_ description; namely, the
ambitious young advocate, who, as "the _learned_ counsel," considers it
incumbent upon him to use high-sounding words, in order to impress both
the jury and the witness with the extent of his legal acquirements, and
the depth of his erudition generally.

Such a "counsel" it was, who, some years ago, in Albany, had assumed the
management of the defense in a case of assault and battery which had
occurred in that good old Dutch city. The witness, a not over-clear-headed
Irishman, was placed upon the stand, where he was thus interrogated:

"Your name, you say, is Maloney?"

"Yes, Si-r-r; Maloney is me name, and me mother's name that bore me; long
life to her in the owld counthry!"

"We don't wish to hear any thing of the 'ould counthry,' Mr. Maloney,"
said the "witty" counsel "Mr. Maloney, do you know my client?"

"Sir?" asked Mr. Maloney, in a monosyllable.

"Do you know _this_ man?" pointing to his client[.]

"Yes, Sir-r-r, I seen him wance-t."

"Well, Mr. Maloney, did you see that man, that individual sitting at your
right hand, did you see him raise his muscular arm, and endeavor to arouse
the passions and excite the fears of my client?"

"Sir?" again asked the witness.

"The Court will please note the hesitancy of the witness. Let me ask you
the _second_ time, Mr. Maloney, did you have an uninterrupted view, were
your optics undimmed, when the plaintiff by your side, the individual in
question, raised his muscular arm, and with malice prepense and murder
aforethought, assaulted the person of my client, in violation of the laws
of the country _and_ of the State of New York?"

"Sir?" said the witness, inquiringly, for the third time.

"Would it not be well, Mr. ----," suggested the justice upon the bench to
the "learned counsel," "to put your question to the witness in simpler and
more direct terms?"

"_Perhaps_ so, your honor. The witness is either very stupid or very
designing. Well then, Mr Maloney, you see that man, the plaintiff there,
don't you?"

"Sure, I sees that man plain enough foreaninst me here, but I didn't know
he was a _plaintiff_. He might ha' been a tinker, for all _I_ knew about
it."

"Well, Mr. Maloney, you see him _now_, at least. Now, sir, do you see
_this_ man, my client?" laying his hand upon the defendant's shoulder.