ll come not near me, and that I must put my affairs in a posture
that I might go to Holland, I opened all my affairs to my dear trusty
friend the Quaker, and placed her, in matters of trust, in the room of
Amy; and with a heavy, bleeding heart for my poor girl, I embarked with
my spouse, and all our equipage and goods, on board another Holland's
trader, not a packet-boat, and went over to Holland, where I arrived, as
I have said.

I must put in a caution, however, here, that you must not understand me
as if I let my friend the Quaker into any part of the secret history of
my former life; nor did I commit the grand reserved article of all to
her, viz., that I was really the girl's mother, and the Lady Roxana;
there was no need of that part being exposed; and it was always a maxim
with me, that secrets should never be opened without evident utility. It
could be of no manner of use to me or her to communicate that part to
her; besides, she was too honest herself to make it safe to me; for
though she loved me very sincerely, and it was plain by many
circumstances that she did so, yet she would not lie for me upon
occasion, as Amy would, and therefore it was not advisable on any terms
to communicate that part; for if the girl, or any one else, should have
come to her afterwards, and put it home to her, whether she knew that I
was the girl's mother or not, or was the same as the Lady Roxana or not,
she either would not have denied it, or would have done it with so ill a
grace, such blushing, such hesitations and falterings in her answers, as
would have put the matter out of doubt, and betrayed herself and the
secret too.

For this reason, I say, I did not discover anything of that kind to her;
but I placed her, as I have said, in Amy's stead in the other affairs of
receiving money, interests, rents, and the like, and she was as faithful
as Amy could be, and as diligent.

But there fell out a great difficulty here, which I knew not how to get
over; and this was how to convey the usual supply of provision and money
to the uncle and the other sister, who depended, especially the sister,
upon the said supply for her support; and indeed, though Amy had said
rashly that she would not take any more notice of the sister, and would
leave her to perish, as above, yet it was neither in my nature, or Amy's
either, much less was it in my design; and therefore I resolved to leave
the management of what I had reserved for that work with m