ouse, excepting my bedchamber, dressing-room, one parlour, and all the
offices and rooms belonging to the servants; and, as he had now all my
substance in his power, I was in a very poor state for a countess, and
began to wish, with great sincerity, that I had never seen him, after I
had lived so happy a life as I did at the Quaker's. For notwithstanding
our estates joined together, when we were first married, amounted to
L3376 per annum, and near L18,000 ready money, besides jewels, plate,
goods, &c., of a considerable value, yet we had lived in a very high
manner since our taking the title of earl and countess upon us; setting
up a great house, and had a number of servants; our equipage, such as
coach, chariot, horses, and their attendants; a handsome fortune my lord
had given to my daughter, and a very noble one to my son, whom he loved
very well, not for his being my son, but for the courteous behaviour of
him in never aspiring to anything above a valet after he knew who he
was, till my lord made him his secretary or clerk. Besides all these
expenses, my lord, having flung himself into the trade to the Indies,
both East and West, had sustained many great and uncommon losses,
occasioned by his merchandise being mostly shipped in English bottoms;
and that nation having declared war against the crown of Spain, he was
one of the first and greatest sufferers by that power; so that, on the
whole, our estate, which was as above, dwindled to about L1000 per
annum, and our home stock, viz., about L17,000, was entirely gone. This,
I believe, was another great mortification to his lordship, and one of
the main things that did help to hasten his end; for he was observed,
both by me and all his servants, to be more cast down at hearing of his
losses, that were almost daily sent to him, than he was at what had
happened between him and me.

Nothing could give more uneasiness than the damage our estate sustained
by this traffic. He looked upon it as a mere misfortune that no person
could avoid; but I, besides that, thought it was a judgment upon me, to
punish me in the loss of all my ill-got gain. But when I found that his
own fortune began to dwindle as well as mine, I was almost ready to
think it was possible his lordship might have been as wicked a liver as
I had, and the same vengeance as had been poured upon me for my repeated
crimes might also be a punishment for him.

As his lordship was in a bad state of health, and had rem