ners' Federation. I do not think I have mentioned the fact before,
but I was employed as a miner when I joined up in '14.

M. C. BROKE, _Capt._

_September 9th, 1920._
To Captain M. C. Broke.

I am directed to inform you that you have been awarded a disability
pension at the rate of five hundred pounds per annum. A draft for the
amount due, including arrears from 5/11/19--date of disembodiment or
demobilisation--was despatched to your address this morning per King's
Messenger.

I have the honour to be, Sir,
Your humble and obedient Servant,
CUTHBERT RUTT,
for Ministry of Pensions.

* * * * *

[Illustration: "ONE CROWDED HOUR OF GLORIOUS LIFE."

A BIT OF TOBACCO-ASH IN YOUR EYE, YOUR REEL JAMMED, ONE OF YOUR LEGS
THROUGH A LOOP OF YOUR LINE AND THE BIGGEST SALMON YOU EVER SAW ON THE
OTHER END OF IT.]

* * * * *

NEW RHYMES FOR OLD CHILDREN.

THE GLOW-WORM.

The little glow-worm sits and glows
As brilliant as the stars,
But you are wrong if you suppose
That he will light cigars.

In fact, he seems to be exempt
From Nature's general plan;
He never makes the least attempt
To be of use to Man.

And if you think that it requires
A scientific brain
To understand his tiny fires
Then you are wrong again.

The meaning of his shininess
Is fairly clear to me;
It is intended to impress
The future Mrs. G.

No doubt you think it is his nose
Which gleams across the glen;
Well, it is not; the part that glows
Is on the abdomen.

And very likely that explains
Why all these millionaires
Buy such expensive shiny chains
To hang about on theirs.

* * * * *

The Editor who read these lines
Has quite a different tale;
He says it is the _she_ that shines
To captivate the male.

He has a perfect right to doubt
The statements in this song,
But if he thinks I'll scratch them out
He's absolutely wrong.

A. P. H.

* * * * *

[Illustration: "WHATEVER WILL YOU DO, GRANDPA, WHEN YOU'RE TOO OLD FOR
GARDENING?"

"I EXPECT I'LL START GOLF. BUT I HOPE I SHAN'T LIVE AS LONG AS THAT."]

* * * * *

FOR OURSELVES ALONE.

Our hostess had taken us over to "Sheltered End," the pleasant country
home of Mrs. Willoughby Brock, to play tennis. As however there was
only one co