was heartily vexed, and would have
immediately cashiered him, if I had not been so generous as to
intercede. Her majesty had taken a marrow-bone upon her plate and, after
knocking out the marrow, placed the bone on the dish erect, as it stood
before. The dwarf watching his opportunity, while Glumdalclitch was gone
to the sideboard, mounted upon the stool she stood on to take care of me
at meals, took me up in both hands, and, squeezing my legs together,
wedged them into the marrow-bone above my waist, where I stuck for some
time, and made a very ridiculous figure, I believe it was near a minute
before any one knew what was became of me; for I thought it below me to
cry out. But, as princes seldom get their meat hot, my legs were not
scalded, only my stockings and breeches in a sad condition. The dwarf,
at my entreaty, had no other punishment than a sound whipping.

I was frequently rallied by the queen upon account of my fearfulness;
and she used to ask me, whether the people of my country were as great
cowards as myself? The occasion was this; the kingdom is much pestered
with flies in summer; and these odious insects, each of them as big as a
Dunstable lark,[61] hardly gave me any rest, while I sat at dinner, with
their continual humming and buzzing about my ears. They would sometimes
alight upon my victuals. Sometimes they would fix upon my nose or
forehead, where they stung me to the quick, and I had much ado to defend
myself against these detestable animals, and could not forbear starting
when they came on my face. It was the common practice of the dwarf, to
catch a number of these insects in his hand, as school-boys do among us,
and let them out suddenly under my nose, on purpose to frighten me, and
divert the queen. My remedy was, to cut them in pieces with my knife, as
they flew in the air, wherein my dexterity was much admired.

[Illustration]

I remember, one morning, when Glumdalclitch had set me in my box upon a
window, as she usually did in fair days, to give me air (for I durst not
venture to let the box be hung on a nail out of the window, as we do
with cages in England) after I had lifted up one of my sashes, and sat
down at my table to eat a piece of sweet-cake for my breakfast, above
twenty wasps, allured by the smell, came flying into the room, humming
louder than the drones[62] of as many bag-pipes. Some of them seized my
cake, and carried it piece-meal away; others flew about my head and
face, co