hold GARRICK to be absurdly overrated. Space
would fail me, and patience you. But let me just for a brief moment
call to your mind ROLAND PRETTYMAN. Upon my soul, I think ROLAND the
most empty-headed fribble, the most affected coxcomb, and the most
conceited noodle in the whole world. He was decently good-looking
once, and he had a pretty knack of sketching in water-colours.

But oh, the huge, distorted, overweening conceit of the man! I have
seen him lying full length on a couch, waving a scented handkerchief
amongst a crowd of submissive women, who were grovelling round him,
while he enlarged in his own pet jargon on the surpassing merits
of his latest unpublished essay, or pointed out the beauties of the
trifling pictures which were the products of his ineffective brush.
He will never accomplish anything, and yet to the end of his life,
I fancy, he will have his circle of toadies and flatterers who will
pretend to accept him as the evangelist of a glorious literary and
artistic gospel. For unfortunately he is as rich as he is impudent
and incompetent. And when he drives out in a Hansom he never ceases to
simper at his reflected image in the little corner looking-glasses, by
means of which modern cab-proprietors pander to the weakness of men.
Such is your handiwork, my excellent VANITY. Are you proud of it?

Yours, &c.,

DIOGENES ROBINSON.

* * * * *

ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS.

"ONE WHO DOESN'T KNOW EVERYTHING."--You ask, What are the duties
of "the Ranger"? Household duties only. He has to inspect the
kitchen-ranges in the kitchens of Buckingham Palace, Windsor Castle,
Balmoral, and Osborne. Hence the style and title. He also edits Cook's
Guides.

"ANOTHER IDIOT" wishes to know if there is such an appointment in the
gift of the Crown as the office of "Court Sweep." Why, certainly; and,
on State occasions, he wears the Court Soot, and his broom is always
waiting for him at the entrance! At Balmoral and Osborne there is a
beautiful sweep leading the visitor right up to the front door.

"ONE MORE UNFORTUNATE" writes us,--"Sir, in what poem of MILTON's does
the following couplet occur?--

I'll light the _gas_ soon,
To play the _bas_-soon.

How are the lines to be scanned?" _Ans._--On internal evidence, we
question whether the lines are MILTON's. In the absence of our Poet,
who is out for a holiday, we can only reply, that if shortsighted,
you can scan them by the aid of