farthing a share. Moreover, how can anything fall steadily? I never
did, which shows what a fool "INDIGNANT" must be.

CROESUS.]

(2.) SIR,--I send L22,000 19s. 83/4d., which I wish tied up as tightly
as possible in the Unlimited Packthread Stock Company, which you say
is as safe as a house. Let me know which particular house you mean.
The money belongs (or belonged) to my Maiden Aunt.

Yours sincerely,

BALIK RASH.

[Consider it done, my dear Sir; consider it done. I return the three
farthings, for which I have no possible use. The rest is invested.
Transfers await your signature at my new office.

CROESUS.]

(3.) SIR,--I have saved L4 5s. 2d. during the last twenty years, and
now send it to you in the Automatic Toast and Muffin Distributor Co.,
which I see guarantees a return of 500 per cent., with an anticipated
increase of 200 per cent. from the sale of concessions in suburban
districts. "The Muffins," you say, "will always be kept at toasting
point, and, by a novel and ingenious arrangement, a perpetual supply
of the best butter will spread itself over every Muffin as it is
distributed to the Public." I like this very much. Pray, therefore,
place me on toast to the enclosed amount.

Yours,

ONE IN THE SLOT.

[Have done what you wish. You have already cleared profit of over
L500. We shall add buns and crumpets to our business to-morrow, and
tea-cakes on the following day, so as to place it in everybody's power
to take the cake, if he wants to.

CROESUS.]

I have little more to add this week, but I think it only right to hint
that I am engaged in perfecting the details of a scheme which will
revolutionise finance. I am not allowed, _at present_, to enter into
full particulars, but I may say that I have been in close conference
with the very highest person in the world of finance, and that he is
to submit my plan to the next Cabinet Council. Briefly, when my scheme
is floated, Consols will immediately go to par, and will be converted
into a security bearing ten per cent. interest--and this without
a single penny being added to the tax-payers' burdens. I have been
authorised by the officials of the Treasury to receive any investments
that my readers may offer. Now, therefore, is your time. Next week I
may have to take a short holiday, owing to the strain on my nerves,
caused by my numerous anxieties. But the good work will go on as
before.

"CROESUS LONDON."

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