have I reason to doubt, but that (as I had before argued with
myself) I shall be able to bring over some of my relations to my party;
and, being brought face to face with my brother, that I shall expose his
malevolence, and of consequence weaken his power.

'Then supposing the very worst, challenging the minister as I shall
challenge him, he will not presume to proceed: nor surely will Mr.
Solmes dare to accept my refusing and struggling hand. And finally,
if nothing else will do, nor procure me delay, I can plead scruples of
conscience, and even pretend prior obligation; for, my dear, I have give
Mr. Lovelace room to hope (as you will see in one of my letters in your
hands) that I will be no other man's while he is single, and gives me
not wilful and premeditated cause of offence against him; and this in
order to rein-in his resentment on the declared animosity of my brother
and uncles to him. And as I shall appeal, or refer my scruples on this
head, to the good Dr. Lewen, it is impossible but that my mother and
aunt (if nobody else) must be affected with this plea.'

Revolving cursorily these things, I congratulated myself, that I had
resolved against going away with Mr. Lovelace.

I told you, my dear, that I would not spare myself: and I enumerate
these particulars as so many arguments to condemn the actions I have
been so unhappily betrayed into. An argument that concludes against me
with the greater force, as I must acknowledge, that I was apprehensive,
that what my cousin Dolly mentions as from Betty, and from my sister who
told her, that she should tell me, in order to make me desperate, and
perhaps to push me upon some such step as I have been driven to take, as
the most effectual means to ruin me with my father and uncles.

God forgive me, if I judge too harshly of their views!--But if I do not,
it follows, that they laid a wicked snare for me; and that I have been
caught in it.--And now they triumph, if they can triumph, in the ruin of
a sister, who never wished or intended to hurt them!

As the above kind of reasoning had lessened my apprehensions as to the
Wednesday, it added to those I had of meeting Mr. Lovelace--now, as it
seemed, not only the nearest, but the heaviest evil; principally indeed
because nearest; for little did I dream (foolish creature that I
was, and every way beset!) of the event proving what it has proved. I
expected a contention with him, 'tis true, as he had not my letter: but
I th