that he
must repeat what he had written to me he believed more than once, That
my friends themselves expected that I should take a proper opportunity
to free myself from their persecutions; why else did they confine me?
That my exalted character, as he called it, would still bear me out,
with those who knew me; who knew my brother's and sister's motives; and
who knew the wretch they were for compelling me to have.

'With regard to clothes; who, as matters were circumstanced, could
expect that I should be able to bring away any others than those I had
on at the time? For present use or wear, all the ladies of his family
would take a pride to supply me: for future, the product of the best
looms, not only in England, but throughout the world, were at my
command.

'If I wanted money, as no doubt I must, he should be proud to supply me:
Would to heaven, he might presume to hope, there were but one interest
between us!'

And then he would fain have had me to accept of a bank note of a hundred
pounds; which, unawares to me, he put into my hand: but which, you may
be sure, I refused with warmth.

'He was inexpressibly grieved and surprised, he said, to hear me say
had acted artfully by me. He came provided, according to my confirmed
appointment,' [a wretch to upbraid me thus!] 'to redeem me from my
persecutors; and little expected a change of sentiment, and that he
should have so much difficulty to prevail upon me, as he had met with:
that perhaps I might think his offer to go into the garden with me, and
to face my assembled relations, was a piece of art only: but that if I
did, I wronged him: since to this hour, seeing my excessive uneasiness,
he wished, with all his soul he had been permitted to accompany me in.
It was always his maxim to brave a threatened danger. Threateners, where
they have an opportunity to put in force their threats, were seldom
to be feared. But had he been assured of a private stab, or of as many
death's wounds as there were persons in my family, (made desperate as
he should have been by my return,) he would have attended me into the
house.'

So, my dear, what I have to do, is to hold myself inexcusable for
meeting such a determined and audacious spirit; that's all! I have
hardly any question now, but that he would have contrived some wicked
stratagem or other to have got me away, had I met him at a midnight
hour, as once or twice I had thoughts to do; and that would have been
more terrible sti