ou have a view of the
splendid white waters, or the rapids of foam, afore the river takes its
everlastin' leap over the cliff.

"Well, Rufus come all the way from Boston to see the Falls: he said he
didn't care much about them hisself, seein' that he warn't in the mill
business; but, as he was a goin' to England, he didn't like to say he
hadn't been there, especially as all the English knowed about America
was, that there was a great big waterfall called Niagara, an everlastin'
Almighty big river called Mississippi, and a parfect pictur of a wappin'
big man called Kentuckian there. Both t'other ones he'd seen over and
over agin, but Niagara he'd never sot eyes on.

"So as soon as he arrives, he goes into the public room, and looks at
the white waters, and, sais he, 'Waiter,' sais he, 'is them the falls
down there?' a-pintin' by accident in the direction where the Falls
actilly was.

"'Yes, Sir,' sais the waiter.

"'Hem!' sais Rufe, 'them's the Falls of Niagara, eh! So I've seen the
Falls at last, eh! Well it's pretty too: they ain't bad, that's a fact.
So them's the Falls of Niagara! How long is it afore the stage starts?'

"'An hour, Sir.'

"'Go and book me for Boston, and then bring me a paper.'

"'Yes, Sir.'

"Well he got his paper and sot there a readin' of it, and every now
and then, he'd look out of the winder and say: 'So them's the Falls of
Niagara, eh? Well, it's a pretty little mill privilege that too, ain't
it; but it ain't just altogether worth comin' so far to see. So I've
seen the Falls at last!'

"Arter a while in comes a Britisher.

"'Waiter,' says he, 'how far is it to the Falls?'

"'Little over a half a mile, Sir.'

"'Which way do you get there?'

"'Turn to the right, and then to the left, and then go a-head.'

"Rufe heard all this, and it kinder seemed dark to him; so arter
cypherin' it over in his head a bit, 'Waiter,' says he, 'ain't them the
Falls of Niagara, I see there?'

"'No, Sir.'

"'Well, that's tarnation all over now. Not the Falls?'

"'No, Sir.'

"'Why, you don't mean to say, that them are ain't the Falls?'

"'Yes, I do, Sir.'

"'Heaven and airth! I've come hundreds of miles a puppus to see 'em, and
nothin' else; not a bit of trade, or speckelation, or any airthly thing
but to see them cussed Falls, and come as near as 100 cents to a dollar,
startin' off without sein' 'em arter all. If it hadn't a been for that
are Britisher I was sold, that's a fact. Can I run do