ink of a
kernel of a marchin' regiment, and if you'll listen to him and watch
him, he'll strut jist like one, and say, 'halt! dress!' oh, he is a
military man is a turkey cock: he wears long spurs, carries a stiff
neck, and charges at red cloth, like a trooper.

"Well then a little cowardly good natured cur, that lodged in an empty
flour barrel, near the wood pile, gave out a long doleful howl, now and
agin, to show these outside passengers, if he couldn't fight for 'em, he
could at all events cry for 'em, and it ain't every goose has a mourner
to her funeral, that's a fact, unless it be the owner.

"In the mornin' I wakes up, and looks round for lawyer, but he was gone.
So I gathers up the brans, and makes up the fire, and walks out. The
pigs didn't try to come in agin, you may depend, when they see'd me;
they didn't like the curlin' tongs, as much as some folks do, and pigs'
tails kinder curl naterally. But there was lawyer a-standin' up by the
grove, lookin' as peeked and as forlorn, as an onmated loon.

"'What's the matter of you, Squire?' sais I. 'You look like a man that
was ready to make a speech; but your witness hadn't come, or you hadn't
got no jury.'

"'Somebody has stole my horse,' said he.

"Well, I know'd he was near-sighted, was lawyer, and couldn't see a pint
clear of his nose, unless it was a pint o' law. So I looks all round and
there was his hoss, a-standin' on the bridge, with his long tail hanging
down straight at one eend, and his long neck and head a banging down
straight at t'other eend, so that you couldn't tell one from t'other or
which eend was towards you. It was a clear cold mornin'. The storm was
over and the wind down, and there was a frost on the ground. The critter
was cold I suppose, and had broke the rope and walked off to stretch his
legs. It was a monstrous mean night to be out in, that's sartain.

"'There is your hoss,' sais I.

"'Where?' sais he.

"'Why on the bridge,' sais I; "he has got his head down and is a-lookin'
atween his fore-legs to see where his tail is, for he is so cold, I do
suppose he can't feel it.'

"Well, as soon as we could, we started; but afore we left, sais the
Judge to me, 'Mr. Slick,' sais he, 'here is a plaister,' taking out
a pound note, 'a plaister for the skin the pig rubbed off of the old
woman. Give it to her, I hope it is big enough to cover it.' And he fell
back on the bed, and larfed and coughed, and coughed and larfed, till
the tears ran