and vulgar pretension."

"I thank you for that hint," said Mr. Slick, "I was in jeest like; but
there is more in it, for all that, than you'd think. It ain't literal
fact, but it is figurative truth. But now I'll shew you sunthin' in
this town, that's as false as parjury, sunthin that's a disgrace to this
country and an insult to our great nation, and there is no jeest in it
nother, but a downright lie; and, since you go for to throw up to me our
naval button with its 'eagle and anchor,' I'll point out to you sunthin'
a hundred thousand million times wus. What was the name o' that English
admiral folks made such a touss about; that cripple-gaited, one-eyed,
one-armed little naval critter?"

"Do you mean Lord Nelson?"

"I do," said he, and pointing to his monument, he continued, "There
he is as big as life, five feet nothin', with his shoes on. Now examine
that monument, and tell me if the English don't know how to brag, as
well as some other folks, and whether they don't brag too sumtimes, when
they hante got no right to. There is four figures there a representing
the four quarters of the globe in chains, and among them America, a
crouchin' down, and a-beggin' for life, like a mean heathen Ingin. Well,
jist do the civil now, and tell me when that little braggin' feller ever
whipped us, will you? Just tell me the day of the year he was ever able
to do it, since his mammy cut the apron string and let him run to seek
his fortin'. Heavens and airth, we'd a chawed him right up!

"No, there never was an officer among you, that had any thing to brag
of about us but one, and he wasn't a Britisher--he was a despisable
Blue-nose colonist boy of Halifax. When his captain was took below
wounded, he was leftenant, so he jist ups and takes command o' the
Shannon, and fit like a tiger and took our splendid frigate the
Chesapeake, and that was sumthing to brag on. And what did he get for
it? Why colony sarce, half-pay, and leave to make room for Englishers
to go over his head; and here is a lyin' false monument, erected to this
man that never even see'd one of our national ships, much less smelt
thunder and lightning out of one, that English like, has got this for
what he didn't do.

"I am sorry Mr. Lett [Footnote: This was the man that blew up the Brock
monument in Canada. _He was a Patriot_.] is dead to Canada, or I'd give
him a hint about this. I'd say, 'I hope none of our free and enlightened
citizens will blow this lyin', swa