of everything. Everybody meddles and wants to show that he is as
clever as you.

GOVERNOR. Oh, that's nothing. But this cursed incognito! All of a sudden
he'll look in: "Ah, so you're here, my dear fellows! And who's the judge
here?" says he. "Liapkin-Tiapkin." "Bring Liapkin-Tiapkin here.--And who
is the Superintendent of Charities?" "Zemlianika."--"Bring Zemlianika
here!"--That's what's bad.

SCENE II

Enter Ivan Kuzmich, the Postmaster.

POSTMASTER. Tell me, gentlemen, who's coming? What chinovnik?

GOVERNOR. What, haven't you heard?

POSTMASTER. Bobchinsky told me. He was at the postoffice just now.

GOVERNOR. Well, what do you think of it?

POSTMASTER. What do I think of it? Why, there'll be a war with the
Turks.

AMMOS. Exactly. Just what I thought.

GOVERNOR [sarcastically]. Yes, you've both hit in the air precisely.

POSTMASTER. It's war with the Turks for sure, all fomented by the
French.

GOVERNOR. Nonsense! War with the Turks indeed. It's we who are going to
get it, not the Turks. You may count on that. Here's a letter to prove
it.

POSTMASTER. In that case, then, we won't go to war with the Turks.

GOVERNOR. Well, how do you feel about it, Ivan Kuzmich?

POSTMASTER. How do I feel? How do YOU feel about it, Anton Antonovich?

GOVERNOR. I? Well, I'm not afraid, but I just feel a little--you
know--The merchants and townspeople bother me. I seem to be unpopular
with them. But the Lord knows if I've taken from some I've done it
without a trace of ill-feeling. I even suspect--[Takes him by the
arm and walks aside with him.]--I even suspect that I may have been
denounced. Or why would they send an Inspector to us? Look here, Ivan
Kuzmich, don't you think you could--ahem!--just open a little every
letter that passes through your office and read it--for the common
benefit of us all, you know--to see if it contains any kind of
information against me, or is only ordinary correspondence. If it is all
right, you can seal it up again, or simply deliver the letter opened.

POSTMASTER. Oh, I know. You needn't teach me that. I do it not so much
as a precaution as out of curiosity. I just itch to know what's doing in
the world. And it's very interesting reading, I tell you. Some letters
are fascinating--parts of them written grand--more edifying than the
Moscow Gazette.

GOVERNOR. Tell me, then, have you read anything about any official from
St. Petersburg?

POSTMASTER. No, nothing about a St. P