, gentlemen. I confess I am so educated that the
moment an official a single degree higher than myself speaks to me, my
heart stands still and I get as tongue-tied as though my tongue were
caught in the mud. No, gentlemen, excuse me. Please let me off.

ARTEMY. It's you who have got to do it, Ammos Fiodorovich. There's no
one else. Why, every word you utter seems to be issuing from Cicero's
mouth.

AMMOS. What are you talking about! Cicero! The idea! Just because a man
sometimes waxes enthusiastic over house dogs or hunting hounds.

ALL [pressing him]. No, not over dogs, but the Tower of Babel, too.
Don't forsake us, Ammos Fiodorovich, help us. Be our Saviour!

AMMOS. Let go of me, gentlemen.

Footsteps and coughing are heard in Khlestakov's room. All hurry to
the door, crowding and jostling in their struggle to get out. Some are
uncomfortably squeezed, and half-suppressed cries are heard.

BOBCHINSKY'S VOICE. Oh, Piotr Ivanovich, you stepped on my foot.

ARTEMY. Look out, gentlemen, look out. Give me a chance to atone for my
sins. You are squeezing me to death.

Exclamations of "Oh! Oh!" Finally they all push through the door, and
the stage is left empty.

SCENE II

Enter Khlestakov, looking sleepy.

KHLESTAKOV [alone]. I seem to have had a fine snooze. Where did they get
those mattresses and feather beds from? I even perspired. After the meal
yesterday they must have slipped something into me that knocked me out.
I still feel a pounding in my head. I see I can have a good time here.
I like hospitality, and I must say I like it all the more if people
entertain me out of a pure heart and not from interested motives. The
Governor's daughter is not a bad one at all, and the mother is also a
woman you can still--I don't know, but I do like this sort of life.

SCENE III

Khlestakov and the Judge.

JUDGE [comes in and stops. Talking to himself]. Oh, God, bring me safely
out of this! How my knees are knocking together! [Drawing himself up
and holding the sword in his hand. Aloud.] I have the honor to
present myself--Judge of the District Court here, College Assessor
Liapkin-Tiapkin.

KHLESTAKOV. Please be seated. So you are the Judge here?

JUDGE. I was elected by the nobility in 1816 and I have served ever
since.

KHLESTAKOV. Does it pay to be a judge?

JUDGE. After serving three terms I was decorated with the Vladimir of
the third class with the approval of the government. [Aside.] I have