d from me, too.

BOBCHINSKY. And sixty-five from me and Piotr Ivanovich.

AMMOS [throwing up his hands in perplexity]. How's that, gentlemen?
Really, how could we have been so off our guard?

GOVERNOR [beating his forehead]. How could I, how could I, old fool?
I've grown childish, stupid mule. I have been in the service thirty
years. Not one merchant, not one contractor has been able to impose on
me. I have over-reached one swindler after another. I have caught crooks
and sharpers that were ready to rob the whole world. I have fooled three
governor-generals. As for governor-generals, [with a wave of his hand]
it is not even worth talking about them.

ANNA. But how is it possible, Antosha? He's engaged to Mashenka.

GOVERNOR [in a rage]. Engaged! Rats! Fiddlesticks! So much for your
engagement! Thrusts her engagement at me now! [In a frenzy.] Here, look
at me! Look at me, the whole world, the whole of Christendom. See what
a fool the governor was made of. Out upon him, the fool, the old
scoundrel! [Shakes his fist at himself.] Oh, you fat-nose! To take an
icicle, a rag for a personage of rank! Now his coach bells are jingling
all along the road. He is publishing the story to the whole world. Not
only will you be made a laughing-stock of, but some scribbler, some
ink-splasher will put you into a comedy. There's the horrid sting. He
won't spare either rank or station. And everybody will grin and clap his
hands. What are you laughing at? You are laughing at yourself, oh you!
[Stamps his feet.] I would give it to all those ink-splashers! You
scribblers, damned liberals, devil's brood! I would tie you all up in a
bundle, I would grind you into meal, and give it to the devil. [Shakes
his fist and stamps his heel on the floor. After a brief silence.] I
can't come to myself. It's really true, whom the gods want to
punish they first make mad. In what did that nincompoop resemble an
inspector-general? In nothing, not even half the little finger of an
inspector-general. And all of a sudden everybody is going about saying,
"Inspector-general, inspector-general." Who was the first to say it?
Tell me.

ARTEMY [throwing up his hands]. I couldn't tell how it happened if I had
to die for it. It is just as if a mist had clouded our brains. The devil
has confounded us.

AMMOS. Who was the first to say it? These two here, this noble pair.
[Pointing to Dobchinsky and Bobchinsky.]

BOBCHINSKY. So help me God, not I. I didn't even thi