KHLESTAKOV. And yet you'll admit that one can live happily in a little
town.

POSTMASTER. Quite so.

KHLESTAKOV. In my opinion what you want is this--you want people to
respect you and to love you sincerely. Isn't that so?

POSTMASTER. Exactly.

KHLESTAKOV. I'm glad you agree with me. Of course, they call me queer.
But that's the kind of character I am. [Looking him in the face and
talking to himself.] I think I'll ask this postmaster for a loan.
[Aloud.] A strange accident happened to me and I ran out of cash on the
road. Can you lend me three hundred rubles?

POSTMASTER. Of course. I shall esteem it a piece of great good fortune.
I am ready to serve you with all my heart.

KHLESTAKOV. Thank you very much. I must say, I hate like the devil to
deny myself on the road. And why should I? Isn't that so?

POSTMASTER. Quite so. [Rises, draws himself up, with his sword in his
hand.] I'll not venture to disturb you any more. Would you care to make
any remarks about the post office administration?

KHLESTAKOV. No, nothing.

The Postmaster bows and goes out.

KHLESTAKOV [lighting a cigar]. It seems to me the Postmaster is a fine
fellow, too. He's certainly obliging. I like people like that.

SCENE V

Khlestakov and Luka Lukich, who is practically pushed in on the stage.
A voice behind him is heard saying nearly aloud, "Don't be
chickenhearted."

LUKA [drawing himself up, trembling, with his hand on his sword]. I
have the honor to present myself--School Inspector, Titular Councilor
Khlopov.

KHLESTAKOV. I'm glad to see you. Take a seat, take a seat. Will you have
a cigar? [Offers him a cigar.]

LUKA [to himself, hesitating]. There now! That's something I hadn't
anticipated. To take or not to take?

KHLESTAKOV. Take it, take it. It's a pretty good cigar. Of course not
what you get in St. Petersburg. There I used to smoke twenty-five cent
cigars. You feel like kissing yourself after having smoked one of them.
Here, light it. [Hands him a candle.]

Luka Lukich tries to light the cigar shaking all over.

KHLESTAKOV. Not that end, the other.

LUKA [drops the cigar from fright, spits and shakes his hands. Aside].
Confound it! My damned timidity has ruined me!

KHLESTAKOV. I see you are not a lover of cigars. I confess smoking is my
weakness--smoking and the fair sex. Not for the life of me can I remain
indifferent to the fair sex. How about you? Which do you like more,
brunettes or blondes?

Luka Luk