ng when I came home, and I didn't have one--oh no!
Aunt Elsie wanted to know where I thought I should die when I went
to--(no, I believe it was the other way, but never mind)--if I hung
best bed spreads out of the window, and left my room without permission?
besides informing me that she should write to ma', and have me sent for.
Finally, she marched me up stairs again; and when I said I _must_ have
something to do to keep me out of mischief, she gave me a Sunday school
book to read, and took herself off.

Of course you will say I was dreadfully wicked not to like the Sunday
school book, but I couldn't. It was so full of hard names and long
words, and was all about sanctification and justification and
regeneration, and how was I to understand a word of it? I love Bible
stories, but I don't think there is a boy or girl who _understands hard
doctrines_. Do you, Neighbor Oldbird?

I pretty soon gave up that employment, and amused myself instead with
pelting the cats on the fence with a few marbles, and trying on my
uniform, to see how I looked in it; until Aunt Elsie relented, I
suppose, for she came up and asked me through the keyhole if I was
sorry, and wouldn't do any more. You can fancy what my answer was, and
after dinner I got permission to go out and play on the sidewalk.

Neighbor Nelly and Jimmy joined me there pretty soon, and we had such
fun playing "tag" and driving hoop. It wasn't hoop _time_, to be sure,
but that was no matter. Then, when we were tired of that, we all sat
down together on the upper step of No. 9, and began talking about their
school and mine, and what we learned.

"Do you ever learn pieces of poetry?" asked Nelly. "My teacher, Miss
Backboard, always gives the girls each a piece of poetry every Friday;
so we call that poetry day."

"I used to learn pieces too," I said; "but I don't care much for poetry
unless it's funny."

"Tell us a funny piece," said Jimmy.

"Ah yes, do!" added Nelly; and, of course, when a _lady_ asked me I had
to, though I felt pretty bashful; so I began.

A DAY OF MISHAPS.

(AS TOLD BY BOBBY BREAKWINDOW, A SCHOOLBOY.)

[Illustration]

[Illustration: BOBBY AND ROVER.]

[Illustration]

Oh dear! was there ever anybody so unlucky as I am,
From General ----, who lost that battle t'other day,
all the way back to Priam!
Come, sit down--do, and let me tell you all about it,
and what's the matter;
Perhaps it will do me good to have a nice,