they
had not ft handsome wife, nor sister, to speak for them, not one single
election vote in their family, nor a shilling in their pockets to bribe
the turnpike {22}door-keeper, they could not succeed; besides, Chinese,
zig-zag, and gothic imitations, monopolized all premiums: and the envy
of prejudice, and the folly of fashion, made a party against them. They
were so weak in themselves, as to imagine the merits of their works
would recommend them to the world. Poor creatures! they knew nothing of
the world, to suppose so; for merit is the only thing in the world not
recommendable. To prevent starving, Architecture hired herself as a
brick-layer's {23}labourer to a Chinese temple-builder; Painting took on
as a colour-grinder to a paper-stainer; Poetry turned printer's devil;
Music sung ballads about the streets: and Astronomy {24}sold almanacks.
They rambled about in this manner for some time; at last, they picked
up poor Wit, who lay ill of some bruises he had received one masquerade
night.

As poor Wit was coming down the Haymarket, just as the masquerade
was breaking up, the noise of a pickpocket was announced, upon which
Buffoonery fell upon Wit, and mangled him most piteously. Invention
stood Wit's friend, and help-ed him to make his escape to those
Sciences. Now it happened that night, Lady Fashion had lost her
lap-dog, which Wit found, and brought to these his companions, for
whom Architecture built a little house; Painting made a portrait of it:
Poetry wrote a copy of verses upon it, which Music put a tune to; and
Astronomy calculated the dear creature's nativity; which so pleased Lady
Fashion, that she recommended them to the house of Ostentation, but left
Wit behind, because as wit was out of taste, Fashion would not have
any thing to say to it. However, some of her Ladyship's upper servants
invited Wit into the steward's room, and, according to the idea some
folks have of Wit, they begged he'd be comical. One brought him a poker
to bend over his arm; another desired he would eat a little fire for 'em
before dinner; the {25}butler requested a tune upon the musical glasses;
my lady's woman desired he would tell her fortune by the cards; and the
grooms said, "as how, if his honour was a wit, he could ride upon three
horses at once." But before Wit could answer to any of these questions,
the French governess belonging to the family came down stairs, and
ordered Wit to be turned out of doors, saying, "Vat want y