t his action
against the bull for running away with the {89} boat. And thus notice of
trial was given, Bullum _versus_ Boatum, Boatum _versus_ Bullum.

Now the Counsel for the bull began with saying, "My Lord, and you
gentlemen of the jury, we are counsel in this cause for the bull. We are
indicted for running away with the boat. Now, my Lord, we have heard
of running horses, but never of running bulls before. Now, my Lord, the
bull could no more run away with the boat than a man in a coach may be
said to run away with the horses; therefore, my Lord, how can we punish
what is not punishable? How can we eat what is not eatable? Or, how can
we drink what is not drinkable? Or, as the law says, how can we think on
what is not thinkable? Therefore, my {90}Lord, as we are counsel in this
cause for the bull, if the jury should bring the bull in guilty, the
jury would be guilty of a bull."

The counsel for the boat observed that the bull should be nonsuited,
because, in his declaration, he had not specified what colour he was of;
for thus wisely, and thus learnedly, spoke the counsel.--"My Lord, if
the bull was of no colour, he must be of some colour; and, if he was
not of any colour, what colour could the bull be of?" I over-ruled this
motion myself, by observing the bull was a white bull, and that white is
no colour: besides, as I told my brethren, they should not trouble their
heads to talk of colour in the law, for the law can colour any thing.
This cause being afterwards left to a reference, upon the award both
bull and boat were acquitted, it being proved that the tide of the river
carried them both away; upon which I gave it as my opinion, that, as the
tide of the river carried both bull and boat away, both bull and boat
had a good action against the water-bailiff.

My opinion being taken, an action was issued, and, upon the traverse,
this point of law arose, How, wherefore, and whether, why, when, and
what, whatsoever, whereas, and whereby, as the {91}boat was not a
_compos mentis_ evidence, how could an oath be administered? That point
was soon settled by Boatum's attorney declaring that, for his client, he
would swear any thing.

The water-bailiff's charter was then read, taken out of the original
record in true law Latin; which set forth, in their declaration, that
they were carried away either by the tide of flood or the tide of ebb.
The charter of the water-bailiff was as follows. "_Aquae bailiffi est
magistrat