ey hold out against time. For example, a gentleman lately
coming into a coffee-house, and expressing himself highly pleased with
some debates which he had just then heard, one of his acquaintance
begged the favour that he would tell the company what the debates were
about.

"About, Sir!--Yes, Sir.--About!--what were they debating about? Why they
were about five hours long." "But what did they say, Sir?" "What did
they say, Sir? Why one man said every thing; he was up two hours, three
quarters, nineteen seconds, and five eighths, by my watch, which is
the best stop-watch in England; so, if I don't know what he said, who
should? for I had my eye upon my watch all the time he was speaking."
"Which side was he of?" "Why {53}he was of my side, I stood close by him
all the time."

Here are the busts of two ancient laughing and crying Philosophers,
or orators. [_Takes the two heads up._] These in their life-time were
heads, of two powerful factions, called the Groaners and the Grinners.
_(Holds one head in each hand.)_ This Don Dismal's faction, is a
representation of that discontented part of mankind who are always
railing at the times, and the world, and the people of the world: This
is a good-natured fellow, that made the best of every thing: and this
Don Dismal would attack his brother--"Oh, brother! brother! brother!
what will this world come to?" "The same place it set out from this day
twelve-month." "When will the nation's debt be paid {54}off?" "Will
you pass your word for it?" "These are very slippery times--very
slippery times." "They are always so in frosty weather." "What's become
of our liberty?--Where shall we find liberty?" "In Ireland, to be
sure." "I can't bear to see such times." "Shut your eyes then." [_
Gives the heads off._]

It may seem strange to those spectators [_takes the head_] who are
unacquainted with the reasons that induce ladies to appear in such
caricatures, how that delicate sex can walk under the weight of such
enormous head-coverings; but what will not English hearts endure for the
good of their country? And it's all for the good of their country the
ladies wear such appearances; for, while mankind are such enemies to Old
England as to run wool to France, our ladies, by making use of wool as
part of their head-dresses [_lets down the tail and takes out the wool_],
keep it at home, and encourage the woollen manufactory. [_Takes off the
head._]

But, as all our fashions descend to our in