he latest Army Orders permits the wearing of leather buttons
in place of brass. Our readers should not be too ready to assume that
this will have any effect on the existing meat-pie shortage.

***

Recently published statistics of the Zoological Gardens show a marked
decrease of mortality among the inmates since they were placed on
rations. A nasty rumour is also laid to rest by the declaration that
the notices which deal with "Enquiries for Lost Children" and are
prominently displayed in the Gardens were actually in vogue before the
rationing system was introduced.

***

Paper is one of the principal foods of "Chips," the pet goat of
Summer-down Camp. In view of the increasing value of this commodity
an attempt is to be made to encourage the animal to accept caviare
instead.

***

"Quite good results in the sterilisation of polluted drinking water,"
says _The British Medical Journal_, "have been obtained by the use
of sulphondichloraminobenzoic." It appears that you just mention this
name to the germs (stopping for lunch in the middle) and the little
beggars are scared to death.

***

In a recent message to General LUDENDORFF, the KAISER refers to the
German defence as being "mainly in your hands." And only last April
they were professing to find it in HINDENBURG'S feet.

***

It is not yet compulsory under the new Order, but as a precaution
it is advisable for the owner of a cheese to have his full name and
address written on the collar.

***

The gentleman who advertised last week in a contemporary the loss
of two pet dogs will be greatly interested in a little book just
published, entitled _How to Keep Dogs_.

***

"It is the most extraordinary case I ever heard of," said the Chairman
of the Middlesex Appeal Tribunal, in the case of a one-eyed man passed
for general service. The case is not unique, however, for a one-eyed
man named NELSON is recorded as having seen some general service in
the early part of the nineteenth century.

***

Brazil has entered the War and Germany is now able to shoot in almost
any direction without any appreciable risk of hitting a friend.

***

A five-months-old boy having been called up at Hull, the mother took
the baby to the recruiting office, where we are told the military were
satisfied that a mistake had been made.

***

The author of an article in _The Daily Mail_ stated recently th