d confined to matters of the strictest personal
interest. Since his return quite a number of temporary coldnesses
had arisen as a result of his obstinate reticence, and the retired
station-master, after several attacks both in front and flank had
ignominiously failed, flew into a rage and said he didn't believe
there was any Navy left to tell about, the Germans having sunk it all
at the Battle of Jutland.

Bill said they might 'ave done, he really didn't know, not to be
certain.

But now, with his bundle handkerchief beside him, just having another
drink on his way to the station, Bill really seemed to be relenting
a little. The customers of the "Malt House" all leaned forward
attentively to listen.

"It's all among friends, Bill," said the landlord encouragingly, "it
won't go no further, you can rest easy about that."

"I've 'eard tell as it's this 'ere Mr. Macaroni," began the baker,
who took in a twopenny paper every day, and gave himself well-informed
airs in consequence.

"If you'd ever been properly eddicated," said Bill, wiping his mouth
on the back of his hand, "you'd know as the best discoveries 'ave been
made by haccident, same as when the feller invented the steam-engine
along of an apple tumblin' on 'is 'ead. That's 'ow it is with this
'ere submarine business, an' no macaroni about it an' no cheese
neither.

"Sailormen gets a deal o' presents sent 'em nowadays, rangin' from
wrist-watches an' cottage-pianners to woolly 'ug-me-tights in double
sennit. But the best present we ever 'ad--well, I'll tell you.

"An old lady as was aunt or godmother or something o' the sort to
our Navigatin' Lootenant sent him a present of an extra large tin of
peppermint 'umbugs. Real 'ot uns, they was, and big--well, I believe
you! I've 'ad a deal o' peppermints in my time, but this 'ere
consignment from the Navigator's great-aunt fairly put the lid on.
You'd ha' thought all 'ands was requirin' dental treatment the day
the Navigator shared 'em out, an' when the steersman come off duty,
'e give the course to the feller relievin' the wheel as if 'e'd got an
'ot potato in 'is mouth.

"Well, the peppermints was in full blast an' the ship smellin' like a
bloomin' sweet factory when the look-out reported a submarine on our
port bow. O' course we was all cleared for haction, an' beginnin' to
feel our Iron Crosses burnin' 'oles in our jumpers, when we begun to
see as there was something funny about 'er.

"Naturally we was loo