docile Hun.

* * * * *

"It is proposed to collect from Nottinghamshire householders bones and
fat for the extraction of glycerine."--_Christian World_.

Poor "lambs"!

* * * * *

"Lady Companion Wanted, immediately, by young married woman; servant
kept, and there are no children: applicant must be well educated, well
read, well-bred, and of impeachable character."--_Provincial Paper_.

So as to give her employer something to talk about?

* * * * *

"'Baghdad' written large on the wall of the terminus in English and
Arabic reminded them that they had arrived. In the booking office, now
deserted, there had been a rush for tickets to Constantinople. The last
train had gone out at 2 a.m. A supper officer discovered the
way-bill."--_Daily Paper_.

A poor substitute if he was looking for the bill-of-fare.

* * * * *

From an Egyptian picture-palace programme:--

"Sensationing. Dramatic.
MARINKA'S HEART.
Great drama, in 3 parts, of a poignancy interest,
assisting with anguish at the terrible
peripeties of a Young Girl, falling in hand, of
Bohemian bandits.
Pictures of this film are celicious, being taken
at fir trees and mountan's of the Alpes.--
Great success.
Comic. Silly laughter."

The translator of the French original was probably justified in his
rendering of "_fou rire_."

* * * * *

PROTESTS OF AN AMMUNITION MULE.

[Illustration: _Mule._ "WHAT ON EARTH'S HE STOPPING FOR?]

[Illustration: OH--GET A MOVE ON!]

[Illustration: NOW WHAT'S THE TROUBLE?]

[Illustration: WELL, OF ALL THE--]

[Illustration: HERE, HOLD ON--YOU WAIT FOR _ME_ NOW. HANG THESE FLIES!".]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Bosch_ (_downed after long Homeric combat_). "KAMERAD!"

_Pat._ "BE JABERS, 'TIS THE WORD I'VE BEEN THRYING TO REMEMBER FOR THE LAST
THREE MINUTS."]

* * * * *

ADMIRAL DUGOUT.

He had done with fleets and squadrons, with the restless roaming seas,
He had found the quiet haven he desired,
And he lay there to his moorings with the dignity and ease
Most becoming to Rear-Admirals (retired);
He was bred on "Spit and Polish"--he was r