yam said:--

"_A Loaf of Bread_--"
"MONKEY-NUTTO-BRAN"
Contains the whole of the husk.

"_A Flask of Wine_--"
A Wise Host
_PLUMES HIMSELF_
on his
CHATEAU VINAIGRETTE.

"_A Book of Verse_--"
"_PURPLE PIFFLE._"
By
PERCIVAL DRIVEL.

* * * * *

"No submarines were sighted, but the vessel's commander steered a
tortoise course through the danger zone."--_Newfoundland Paper._

Far, far better than turning turtle.

* * * * *

"Metra laughed and deposited herself bewitchingly among the cushions on
the davenport."--_London Magazine_.

Personally, we prefer a roll on the top of an American desk.

* * * * *

"By Regulation 35B of the Defence of the Realm Regulations, it is an
offence for any person having found any bomb, or projectile, or any
fragment thereof, or any document, map, &c., which may have been
discharged, dropped, &c., from any hostile aircraft, to forthwith
communicate the fact to a Military Post or to a Police Constable in the
neighbourhood."--_Scotsman_.

Why this mistrust of Scottish policemen?

* * * * *

EARLIER FOOD PROBLEMS.

Peace, I remember, had her alimentary perplexities not much less renowned
than war. At any rate I can think of two.

The first was some years ago, in Yorkshire, on one of those sultry and
stifling days of August which in winter, or even in such a March as we have
been suffering, one can view as something more desirable than rubies, but
which in actual fact are depressing, enervating, and the mother of
moodiness and fatigue. We had left Chop Yat early in the morning after a
night of excessive heat in beds of excessive featheriness and were walking
towards Helmsley by way of Rievaulx, all unconcerned as to lunch by the
way, because the ordnance map marked with such cordial legibility an inn on
the road at a reasonable distance. Moreover, was not Yorkshire made up of
hospitable ridings, and had we not, on the previous day, found lunch in
this cottage and tea in that, with no trouble at all, to say nothing of the
terrific spread confronting us at Chop Yat? Why then carry anything?

But we soon began to regret the absence of sustenance, for this kind of
weather makes for extreme lassitu