flattery,
Higgins.

MRS. PEARCE [uneasy] Oh, don't say that, sir: there's more ways than
one of turning a girl's head; and nobody can do it better than Mr.
Higgins, though he may not always mean it. I do hope, sir, you won't
encourage him to do anything foolish.

HIGGINS [becoming excited as the idea grows on him] What is life but a
series of inspired follies? The difficulty is to find them to do. Never
lose a chance: it doesn't come every day. I shall make a duchess of
this draggletailed guttersnipe.

LIZA [strongly deprecating this view of her] Ah--ah--ah--ow--ow--oo!

HIGGINS [carried away] Yes: in six months--in three if she has a good
ear and a quick tongue--I'll take her anywhere and pass her off as
anything. We'll start today: now! this moment! Take her away and clean
her, Mrs. Pearce. Monkey Brand, if it won't come off any other way. Is
there a good fire in the kitchen?

MRS. PEARCE [protesting]. Yes; but--

HIGGINS [storming on] Take all her clothes off and burn them. Ring up
Whiteley or somebody for new ones. Wrap her up in brown paper till they
come.

LIZA. You're no gentleman, you're not, to talk of such things. I'm a
good girl, I am; and I know what the like of you are, I do.

HIGGINS. We want none of your Lisson Grove prudery here, young woman.
You've got to learn to behave like a duchess. Take her away, Mrs.
Pearce. If she gives you any trouble wallop her.

LIZA [springing up and running between Pickering and Mrs. Pearce for
protection] No! I'll call the police, I will.

MRS. PEARCE. But I've no place to put her.

HIGGINS. Put her in the dustbin.

LIZA. Ah--ah--ah--ow--ow--oo!

PICKERING. Oh come, Higgins! be reasonable.

MRS. PEARCE [resolutely] You must be reasonable, Mr. Higgins: really
you must. You can't walk over everybody like this.

Higgins, thus scolded, subsides. The hurricane is succeeded by a zephyr
of amiable surprise.

HIGGINS [with professional exquisiteness of modulation] I walk over
everybody! My dear Mrs. Pearce, my dear Pickering, I never had the
slightest intention of walking over anyone. All I propose is that we
should be kind to this poor girl. We must help her to prepare and fit
herself for her new station in life. If I did not express myself
clearly it was because I did not wish to hurt her delicacy, or yours.

Liza, reassured, steals back to her chair.

MRS. PEARCE [to Pickering] Well, did you ever hear anything like that,
sir?

PICKERING [laughing hearti