the woman is driving at one thing and you're driving at another.

PICKERING. At what, for example?

HIGGINS [coming off the piano restlessly] Oh, Lord knows! I suppose the
woman wants to live her own life; and the man wants to live his; and
each tries to drag the other on to the wrong track. One wants to go
north and the other south; and the result is that both have to go east,
though they both hate the east wind. [He sits down on the bench at the
keyboard]. So here I am, a confirmed old bachelor, and likely to remain
so.

PICKERING [rising and standing over him gravely] Come, Higgins! You
know what I mean. If I'm to be in this business I shall feel
responsible for that girl. I hope it's understood that no advantage is
to be taken of her position.

HIGGINS. What! That thing! Sacred, I assure you. [Rising to explain]
You see, she'll be a pupil; and teaching would be impossible unless
pupils were sacred. I've taught scores of American millionairesses how
to speak English: the best looking women in the world. I'm seasoned.
They might as well be blocks of wood. I might as well be a block of
wood. It's--

Mrs. Pearce opens the door. She has Eliza's hat in her hand. Pickering
retires to the easy-chair at the hearth and sits down.

HIGGINS [eagerly] Well, Mrs. Pearce: is it all right?

MRS. PEARCE [at the door] I just wish to trouble you with a word, if I
may, Mr. Higgins.

HIGGINS. Yes, certainly. Come in. [She comes forward]. Don't burn that,
Mrs. Pearce. I'll keep it as a curiosity. [He takes the hat].

MRS. PEARCE. Handle it carefully, sir, please. I had to promise her not
to burn it; but I had better put it in the oven for a while.

HIGGINS [putting it down hastily on the piano] Oh! thank you. Well,
what have you to say to me?

PICKERING. Am I in the way?

MRS. PEARCE. Not at all, sir. Mr. Higgins: will you please be very
particular what you say before the girl?

HIGGINS [sternly] Of course. I'm always particular about what I say.
Why do you say this to me?

MRS. PEARCE [unmoved] No, sir: you're not at all particular when you've
mislaid anything or when you get a little impatient. Now it doesn't
matter before me: I'm used to it. But you really must not swear before
the girl.

HIGGINS [indignantly] I swear! [Most emphatically] I never swear. I
detest the habit. What the devil do you mean?

MRS. PEARCE [stolidly] That's what I mean, sir. You swear a great deal
too much. I don't mind your damning and bla