. Them words is in his blooming will, in which,
Henry Higgins, thanks to your silly joking, he leaves me a share in his
Pre-digested Cheese Trust worth three thousand a year on condition that
I lecture for his Wannafeller Moral Reform World League as often as
they ask me up to six times a year.

HIGGINS. The devil he does! Whew! [Brightening suddenly] What a lark!

PICKERING. A safe thing for you, Doolittle. They won't ask you twice.

DOOLITTLE. It ain't the lecturing I mind. I'll lecture them blue in the
face, I will, and not turn a hair. It's making a gentleman of me that I
object to. Who asked him to make a gentleman of me? I was happy. I was
free. I touched pretty nigh everybody for money when I wanted it, same
as I touched you, Henry Higgins. Now I am worrited; tied neck and
heels; and everybody touches me for money. It's a fine thing for you,
says my solicitor. Is it? says I. You mean it's a good thing for you, I
says. When I was a poor man and had a solicitor once when they found a
pram in the dust cart, he got me off, and got shut of me and got me
shut of him as quick as he could. Same with the doctors: used to shove
me out of the hospital before I could hardly stand on my legs, and
nothing to pay. Now they finds out that I'm not a healthy man and can't
live unless they looks after me twice a day. In the house I'm not let
do a hand's turn for myself: somebody else must do it and touch me for
it. A year ago I hadn't a relative in the world except two or three
that wouldn't speak to me. Now I've fifty, and not a decent week's
wages among the lot of them. I have to live for others and not for
myself: that's middle class morality. You talk of losing Eliza. Don't
you be anxious: I bet she's on my doorstep by this: she that could
support herself easy by selling flowers if I wasn't respectable. And
the next one to touch me will be you, Henry Higgins. I'll have to learn
to speak middle class language from you, instead of speaking proper
English. That's where you'll come in; and I daresay that's what you
done it for.

MRS. HIGGINS. But, my dear Mr. Doolittle, you need not suffer all this
if you are really in earnest. Nobody can force you to accept this
bequest. You can repudiate it. Isn't that so, Colonel Pickering?

PICKERING. I believe so.

DOOLITTLE [softening his manner in deference to her sex] That's the
tragedy of it, ma'am. It's easy to say chuck it; but I haven't the
nerve. Which one of us has? We're all in