a, ha!

MISS EYNSFORD HILL [who considers Higgins quite eligible matrimonially]
I sympathize. I haven't any small talk. If people would only be frank
and say what they really think!

HIGGINS [relapsing into gloom] Lord forbid!

MRS. EYNSFORD HILL [taking up her daughter's cue] But why?

HIGGINS. What they think they ought to think is bad enough, Lord knows;
but what they really think would break up the whole show. Do you
suppose it would be really agreeable if I were to come out now with
what I really think?

MISS EYNSFORD HILL [gaily] Is it so very cynical?

HIGGINS. Cynical! Who the dickens said it was cynical? I mean it
wouldn't be decent.

MRS. EYNSFORD HILL [seriously] Oh! I'm sure you don't mean that, Mr.
Higgins.

HIGGINS. You see, we're all savages, more or less. We're supposed to be
civilized and cultured--to know all about poetry and philosophy and art
and science, and so on; but how many of us know even the meanings of
these names? [To Miss Hill] What do you know of poetry? [To Mrs. Hill]
What do you know of science? [Indicating Freddy] What does he know of
art or science or anything else? What the devil do you imagine I know
of philosophy?

MRS. HIGGINS [warningly] Or of manners, Henry?

THE PARLOR-MAID [opening the door] Miss Doolittle. [She withdraws].

HIGGINS [rising hastily and running to Mrs. Higgins] Here she is,
mother. [He stands on tiptoe and makes signs over his mother's head to
Eliza to indicate to her which lady is her hostess].

Eliza, who is exquisitely dressed, produces an impression of such
remarkable distinction and beauty as she enters that they all rise,
quite flustered. Guided by Higgins's signals, she comes to Mrs. Higgins
with studied grace.

LIZA [speaking with pedantic correctness of pronunciation and great
beauty of tone] How do you do, Mrs. Higgins? [She gasps slightly in
making sure of the H in Higgins, but is quite successful]. Mr. Higgins
told me I might come.

MRS. HIGGINS [cordially] Quite right: I'm very glad indeed to see you.

PICKERING. How do you do, Miss Doolittle?

LIZA [shaking hands with him] Colonel Pickering, is it not?

MRS. EYNSFORD HILL. I feel sure we have met before, Miss Doolittle. I
remember your eyes.

LIZA. How do you do? [She sits down on the ottoman gracefully in the
place just left vacant by Higgins].

MRS. EYNSFORD HILL [introducing] My daughter Clara.

LIZA. How do you do?

CLARA [impulsively] How do you do? [She sits down o