side a pace, made a bold effort to gain the long and very
expensive mahogany counter that stretched half across the office, and
behind which glowed out the figure of a fat citizen, whom I stared
right in the face. You cannot get cleverly through this world without
brass; if in your face you have enough to establish a foundery, so
much the better. It is indispensable in political matters; and,
whether right or wrong, the reader can best judge. I have thought the
smaller the politician, the larger were his dealings in the article.
No one could be more cautious how they scandalized their neighbours
than I am; this, Uncle Sam, you well know; but I question the policy
of being delicate during the reign of Pierce, whose cabinet recalls to
my mind the story of the clacking hen, that forever kept up a noise
without laying one egg. To make your way in Washington, you must storm
and put to route a whole platform of valiant gentlemen, who have
become political images in brass. As they love you, Uncle Sam, so also
would they live upon you, die upon you, be buried at your expense, and
their friends be very angry were you not a mourner at the
funeral. This I, Smooth, declare an honest fact, notwithstanding the
high respect I entertain for all those patriotic gentlemen who would
take such care of my Uncle's affairs.

"Now, this very phlegmatic and good natured citizen, who stood: behind
the mahogany, had a face as broad and placid as a town-clock seen by
moonlight. His figure, too, was tightly driven into a suit of
extravagant cloth, and altogether presented the appearance of having
quite recently escaped from the hands of James, his tailor. It was not
in the power of man to analyze his character from what he said, for
what he said meant nothing, when judged by the world's wisdom; but you
saw that James had succeeded in making him in love with himself.
Should he chance to read this imperfect sketch, he will excuse me when
I say he seemed a person brought up to himself, and entertaining the
hope that at no distant day he would become a very important
character--perhaps outshine General Pierce himself. He looked at me,
and I looked at him; then he grinned at me, and I grinned at him. At
last I said, I reckoned we might draw the game. I then added, that
from the look of the establishment I could not be wrong in assuming
that they did a large business in the way of feeding hungry
politicians and honester people. 'You may stake some on tha