ew, old
fellow.

_Culch._ Yes, I am. Magnificent!--glorious!--isn't it?

_Podb._ Find you see it better with your eyes shut? But I say, I wish
you'd explain what you were sniggering at.

_Culch._ Take my advice, and don't press me, my dear fellow; you may
regret it if you do!

_Podb._ I'll risk it. It must be a devilish funny joke to tickle you
like that. Come, out with it!

_Culch._ Well, if you must know, I was laughing.... Oh, he'll _never_
get those horses round in.... I was--er--rather amused by your evident
assumption that I must have been _rejected_ by Miss PRENDERGAST.

_Podb._ Oh, was _that_ it? And you're nothing of the kind, eh? [_He
chuckles again._

_Culch._ (_with dignity_). No doubt you will find it very singular;
but, as a matter of fact, she--well, she most certainly did not
_discourage_ my pretensions.

_Podb._ The deuce she didn't! Did she tell you RUSKIN's ideas about
courtship being a probation, and ask you if you were ready to be under
vow for her, by any chance?

_Culch._ This is too bad, PODBURY; you must have been there, or you
couldn't possibly know!

_Podb._ Much obliged, I'm sure. I don't listen behind doors, as a
general thing. I suppose, now, she set you a trial of some kind, to
prove your mettle, eh? [_With another chuckle._

_Culch._ (_furiously_). Take care--or I may tell you more than you
bargain for!

_Podb._ Go on--never mind _me_. Bless you, _I'm_ under vow for her,
too, my dear boy. Fact!

_Culch._ That's impossible, and I can prove it. The service she
demanded was, that I should leave Constance at once--with you. Do you
understand--with _you_, PODBURY!

_Podb._ (_with a prolonged whistle_). My aunt!

_Culch._ (_severely_). You may invoke every female relative you
possess in the world, but it won't alter the fact, and that alone
ought to convince you--

_Podb._ Hold on a bit. Wait till you've heard _my_ penance. She told
me to cart _you_ off, _Now_, then!

_Culch._ (_faintly_). If I thought she'd been trifling with us both
like that, I'd never--

_Podb._ She's no end of a clever girl, you know. And, after all, she
may only have wanted time to make up her mind.

_Culch._ (_violently_). I tell you _what_ she is--she's a cold-blooded
pedantic prig, and a systematic flirt! I loathe and detest a prig, but
a flirt I despise--yes, _despise_, PODBURY!

_Podb._ (_with only apparent irrelevance_). The same to you, and many
of 'em, old chap! Hullo, we're going to s