-viz., The
"P. and G. Blend," or "The Punchius and Giulia Blend"--at a reasonable
figure, and thus the Not-quite-up-to-the-mark vintages will be saved.
Have we not seen in City partnerships how a strong house saves a
failing one, and then the Blends go on successfully? Let "P. and G."
give us a first-rate Champagne, call it, say, The "G.B.," or "Golden
Blend," at a reasonable price, and, to drop once again into poetry, No
matter what their name may be, We'll ever bless our P. and G.![2]

[Footnote 2: "P. and G." might stand for "Pay-for-it and Get-it," or
"Pour-it and Guzzle-it." A Correspondent has suggested that solution
of the initial problem might possibly be found in the names of Pommery
and Gre'--No! So common-place a suggestion is evidently, and on the
face of it, absurd. Not in this spirit did the Pickwick Club treat the
celebrated inscription on the stone that so puzzled the antiquarians.]

* * * * *

[Illustration: SPORT!

_Cockney Sportsman_ (_eager, but disappointed_). "I SAY, MY BOY, SEEN
ANY BIRDS THIS WAY?"

'_Cute Rustic (likewise anxious to make a bag)._ "OH, A RARE LOT,
GUV'NOR--A RARE LOT--JUST FLEW OVER THIS 'ERE 'EDGE, AND SETTLED IN
THAT 'ERE FIELD, CLOSE TO SQUIRE BLANK'S RICKS."

[_Grateful Cockney Sportsman tips boy a shilling, and goes hopefully
after ... a flock of Starlings!_]

* * * * *

CAUGHT BY THE CLASSICS.

(_THE RECORD OF A RUINED LIFE._)

AUGUSTUS SPARKLER was an exceptionally brilliant man. At school he
had done marvellously well, and if he did not distinguish himself at
either of the Universities, it was less his fault than his misfortune.
When he entered the world, after casting off parental control, he
took up Medicine. He was a great success. He rose by leaps and bounds,
until at length it was thought highly probable that he would be
elected President of the Royal College of Physicians. He was sounded
upon the subject, and a question was put to him.

"No," he replied, sorrowfully, and then the courteous Secretary
informed him, with tears in his voice, that he feared he was
disqualified.

"Well, I will enter the Navy."

He did. He passed through the _Britannia_, and rose by leaps and
bounds, until it was considered desirable to revive the post of Lord
High Admiral for his acceptance. But before this was done, he was
sounded upon the subject, and asked a question.

"No," he again answered, regretfully.