* * * * *

ACCI-DENTAL QUERY.--Let me ask the _Patres Conscripti_ of our Academy
Royal, why Dentists are not admitted A.R.A. _ex officio_. We have all
for ever so long, since the memory of the oldest JOE MILLER, which
runneth not to the contrary, known that Dentists drew teeth. But they
nowadays add to their accomplishments by painting gums. The other day
a friend of ours had a gum beautifully painted by a Dentist-artist
in a certain Welbeck Street studio. It was a wonderful gathering; our
friend in the chair.

* * * * *

THE OLD JOE AND THE NEW.

To the humorous mind of a cynical cast,
Party change many matters for mirth affords;
But of all the big jokes, we've the biggest at last,
In CHAMBERLAIN's backing the House of Lords!
They toil not, nor spin? That's a very old jeer!
_Won't_ the Lilies take back seats when JOE is a Peer?

* * * * *

[Illustration: TRYING IT ON!

RUSSIA. "SS--S--T! (_Whispers._) I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOU, MY DEAR!"]

* * * * *

[Illustration: "LISTEN TO MY TALE OF WOA!"

(_Not much Gaiety about it._)]

* * * * *

TO MY LORD ADDINGTON.

[Lord ADDINGTON, speaking recently at a Harvest Festival,
said, "If he were a labourer, and saw a rabbit nibbling his
cabbages, he would go for that rabbit with the first thing at
hand." (_Enthusiastic cheers._)--_Daily News_.]

[Illustration]

Lord ADDINGTON, most wonderful
Of people-pleasing peers,
You certainly contrived to raise
"Enthusiastic cheers."

The villagers come flocking in
From all the country through,
To hear Your Lordship speak his mind
And tell them what to do.

You did it well, you told them how
You'd have them understand
A lucky chance has made you own
A quantity of land.

Though very fond of shooting, yet
Your love of shooting stops
At letting rabbits have their way
At decimating crops.

And so, if you a labourer were,
(The which of course you're not),
And saw a rabbit in your ground
A-nibbling--on the spot

You'd go for him with spade or fork,
At which, so it appears,
There rang throughout the crowded room
"Enthusiastic cheers."

A Peer's advice is always good,
So doubtless they will grab it,--
_But_ no one will be happier than
The cabbage